Although I get special pleasure out of hosting Thanksgiving dinner for my large extended family, the real burden of serving 50 or more people falls on the lovely shoulders of my wife Anne.

My big job is making 30 pounds of my special onion-laced mashed potatoes, always using my mom’s old, pink-handled potato masher. But it’s Anne who deals with tenting the yard and organizing the feast, including three turkeys and a symphony of side dishes. So you can understand if her enthusiasm for the holiday is more muted.

There was a time when I thought she was going to resign. It was a week after she planned and hosted a business reception at our home for nearly 100 people and she was weary. She told me how she had come to dread the pressure and work of Thanksgiving.

Then, just as I was bracing myself to hear her renounce the job, she completely surprised me by changing direction. “This year,” she said, “I have a whole new feeling toward the holiday. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and decided to be grateful rather than resentful.”

Then she told me how lucky we are to have such a large and close family and the space and resources to provide Thanksgivings that our children will always remember.

Can you see why I love her so much? She taught me that gratitude is not always a spontaneous emotion; often, it’s a matter of choice. It’s a perspective of appreciation that doesn’t necessarily make life easier, but it always makes it better.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.