Shopping Carts and Rationalizations 589.3
When we think about character, we tend to think about big things like taking risks, acting with integrity, displaying generosity, or exhibiting self-sacrifice. These noble choices indicate character, but for the most part our character is revealed in much smaller events like apologizing when we’re wrong, giving to causes we believe in, being honest when it’s embarrassing, and returning shopping carts.
One of my favorite stories is about a father who asked his son to return a cart they had just used. The son protested, “C’mon, Dad, there are carts all over. No one returns them. That’s why they hire people to collect them.”
After a short argument, Mom chimed in, “For heaven’s sake, it’s no big deal. Let’s go.”
Dad was about to surrender when he saw an elderly couple walking together to return their cart. After a moment, he said, “Son, there are two kinds of people in this world: those who put their carts away and those who don’t. We’re the kind who return their shopping cart. Now go put it back.”
This story isn’t just about grocery carts. It’s about doing the right thing in a world that seems to promote rationalizations and excuses that demean or trivialize simple acts of virtue. There are two kinds of people: those who find the strength to do what they ought to and those who find excuses not to.
People of character do the right thing even if no one else does, not because they think it will change the world but because they refuse to be changed by the world.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
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Comments
Bravo!! Anyone who knows me and read this immediately thought of me! Shopping carts, no parking zones, handicapped parking, waiting in line, putting away equipment at the gym, all pet peeves of mine. Bravo, Michael. Two kinds of people, indeed!
Posted by: Jim Skelly | October 23, 2008 1:58 PM
A few years ago I was briefly married to a man with 3 children from his previous wife. He liked to go to the movie theatre and would often make a day of just watching movies. When asked, he admitted he would pay to go into the first movie and then just “stay” for one or two more. I told him he was being dishonest and it was the wrong thing to do.
Later, he decided to take his oldest son to the movies with him. I explained that it was critical that he NOT teach his son bad values by showing him how to cheat into free movies. No matter how I argued, he dismissed my comments as worthless.
When he returned, I asked if he had taken his son into a second “free” movie. I was so pleased to hear his son had refused to go into the second movie without paying.
Evidently the son had better values than his father, which is certainly one of the reasons his dad is no longer married!
Posted by: Laura | October 24, 2008 12:35 PM
One morning after the start of school, one of my first grade students came running up to me with a big grin. She proudly held up a drawing of supposedly her and me and said, "I drew this for you. It's a present." I gave her a big hug, thanked her and put it up on the side of my file cabinet. A few hours later, she came up to me and asked, "When do I get my prize?" I asked what she had done to receive a prize. "I gave you that picture I drew this morning." Somewhat humored, but shocked, I replied to her "If it was a gift to me, you shouldn't expect something in return. A gift is something you do for someone else because you know they'd appreciate it; not because you expect something back." Sheepishly, she answered "OK" and walked off. I knew she didn't understand, but it concerned me the entire day that somewhere along the line she had been taught to expect some kind of extrinsic reward for everything she did -- whether it was a responsibility, a favor, or a gift.
Posted by: Julia | October 25, 2008 12:31 PM
hmmm? What would it have hurt if the dad had set an example of returning the cart himself saying that the next time it is the son's turn to return it, thus making it a family affair? When my kids and I went grocery shopping, we always had a "magic cart." An item or two would appear in the cart that was not on the grocery list. My kids were most of the time behaved in the store because of the "magic cart." They are all grown now but when one goes with me to the grocery store, we still have a "magic cart."
Posted by: roberta | October 25, 2008 7:11 PM
Hmmmm? What do you say when they lay off the cart-collecting guy? Sorry, we were just being ethical? We didn't think it would cost you your job, car and house. Isn't it more ethical to let the cart-collecting guy do his job?
Posted by: James | November 11, 2008 6:12 PM
James, first of all, they will never lay off the cart-collecting guy. Maybe for other reasons, but not for the one you mention. For that to happen, every single shopper, starting now and continuing forever, would have to return their carts. That will never happen. So good news -- the guy keeps his job, his car, and his house.
That leaves just a simple question: Do you want an opportunity to do a good deed by making someone's routine day a little easier or not? Put yourself in his shoes.
Posted by: John | November 12, 2008 1:08 PM
John:
You are wrong! I WAS that employee laid off when cart collections went down and the remainder of my job duties were not enough to support the position. (The store I worked for in college decided to make a promotion out of returning carts.) While I was able to get another job back then, in this economy that may not be as easy. Maybe you need to really understand what you are talking about before you make unfounded comments!
Now, it's not that I don't agree that people should return the carts. In fact, I usually do so myself. My comment was just food for thought. Part of ethics, John, is knowing what you are talking about before spouting off about it.
Posted by: James | November 13, 2008 9:00 AM