It’s in the news all the time – kids are cheating in school in new ways and in unprecedented rates.

One of the reasons is the way schools and parents deal with or ignore the underlying issues of integrity and character. For instance, a popular thing adults say to discourage kids from cheating is “You’re only cheating yourself.”

Of course cheating damages credibility and character, but it’s also dishonest and unfair. Cheaters don’t just cheat themselves. They cheat everyone affected by their cheating including honest students who are put at a competitive disadvantage and college admission officers and employers who think a student’s grade accurately reflects his or her competence. What’s more, cheaters dishonor their families, teachers, and schools.

When we tell kids they’re cheating themselves because they aren’t learning the material, we have to remember that most kids who cheat think what they’re asked to learn is unimportant. They’re quite comfortable not knowing the value of X or the capital of Zimbabwe. As to mastering skills, cynical and coldly pragmatic students believe that learning to cheat is more useful than learning the material.

Finally, it’s dangerous to promote self-centered, cost-benefit calculations about cheating in a way that ignores or minimizes the crucial moral issues of honesty and honor. Nearly two-thirds of high school students cheat on exams because they’re not afraid of getting caught and they get better grades.

To address the problem, we must promote integrity, not self-interest, and we must tell kids that whether they get away with it or not, cheating's wrong.

Of course, it helps if we really believe that.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

In old cowboy movies you could tell the good guys from the bad by the color of their hats. Villains wore black; heroes wore white. It made things easy. Too easy.

I want to put black hats on all the people who discredit their professions and disgrace themselves and their families by acts of dishonesty or uncontrolled desire.

Unfortunately, the closer I look at athletes, school administrators, corporate executives, cops, politicians, and priests who continually fill the newspapers with scandals and fuel the bonfire of cynicism, the more obvious it becomes that most of them are a mixed bag of virtues and flaws – not so different from you and me.

I point this out not to minimize or excuse bad conduct but to heighten awareness of how vulnerable we all are to moral blind spots. The best defense against the seductive dark side is a strong sense of integrity and a sleepless conscience.

Poet Edgar Guest put it this way:

I have to live with myself, and so,
I want to be fit for myself to know.
I want to be able as days go by
Always to look myself straight in the eye.
I don’t want to stand with the setting sun
And hate myself for the things I’ve done.

I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself as I come and go
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of man I really am.
I don’t want to dress myself up in sham.

I never can hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see.
I know what others may never know;
I never can fool myself, and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Five birds are sitting on a telephone wire. Two decide to fly south. How many are left? Most people would say three. Actually, all five are left. You see, deciding to fly isn’t the same as doing it.

If a bird really wants to go somewhere, it’s got to point itself in the right direction, jump off the wire, flap its wings, and keep flapping until it gets there.

So it is with most things. Good intentions aren’t enough. It’s not what we want, say, or think that makes things happen; it’s what we do.

I frequently think of writing thank-you, birthday, and congratulatory notes. Unfortunately, only a sad few of these good sentiments ever make it to paper. Still, if I don’t look too closely, I can delude myself into thinking that based on my good thoughts I’m a gracious and grateful person. A truer and less admirable picture of my character is drawn by my actions.

In the end, we either do or don’t do. We either make the time to do the things we want to and should do or we make excuses. As Alfred Adler said, “Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement.”

What do you want to do? Do you want to take a course, change your job, lose weight, make new friends, or spend more time with and appreciate more the ones you have?

What’s stopping you from jumping off the wire and flapping your wings?

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

While helping to draft the CHARACTER COUNTS! Arizona Sports Summit Accord in 1999 – a declaration of ethical principles for youth and collegiate sports – John Wooden, one of the greatest coaches of all time, inserted language that declared “a coach is, first and foremost, a teacher.”

This anchor concept has greatly influenced our Pursuing Victory With Honor sportsmanship campaign and spawned the term “teacher-coach.”

Although Coach Wooden was an extraordinary basketball skill-builder and strategist as well as an intense and passionate competitor who always wanted to win, his teaching domain went beyond athletics. He never measured the success of his coaching in terms of wins or championships. He understood that his unique relationship with his student-athletes gave him both the power and responsibility to shape their attitudes about honor, integrity, and fair play.

His highest goal was to bring out and enhance the best in the young men who played for him. Thus, he continually sought to instill in them a rich array of values and virtues associated with good character.

Today’s sports environment is so preoccupied with winning that teacher-coaches like Wooden seem to be a breed on its way to extinction. Let’s face it. Collegiate coaches are paid huge sums of money, and it’s not because they’re superb educators or character builders.

Millions of youngsters play sports. Think how much better they and society would be if they’re lucky enough to play for a teacher-coach. We shouldn’t settle for anything less.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Four years ago I talked about a Halloween evening with Minnie Mouse, Jasmine, Tinker Bell, and Tigger. At that time, my quartet of daughters were 7 though 12, and I lamented then that the babies I used to carry and the little girls who once wouldn’t let go of my hand had morphed into boisterous, confident young ladies well on their way to independence.

Halloween has been one of my favorite holidays ever since I became a dad. I loved the earnest discussions of who my kids wanted to be, and I enjoyed watching them timidly ring bells and triumphantly return showing the treasures they’d collected – all capped off by counting, sorting, and trading items from gigantic piles of sugar-loaded loot.

Well, my Halloween Daddy Days ended this week. For the first time in 16 years, my wife Anne and I stayed home to dole out goodies to other people’s children.

All but one daughter dispersed to different parts of the city to share the evening with their friends. And the one who decided to troll our neighborhood had her own entourage and no need or desire for parental chaperones.

And so, like millions of parents before us, Anne and I sighed, marveled, and cried a little wondering where the time had gone.

The answer, of course, is that all those years are wrapped like candy in moment-sized packets. Giggles, tantrums, hugs, squeals of joy, sobs of pain, and so much more fill the treat bag in our hearts.

The thing is, we can’t spend too much time looking back because too much is still ahead. We must pay close attention and savor every moment knowing in four more years we’ll be missing the days we have right now.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.