In 1997, Bob Sims, the program manager of KNX-1070 in Los Angeles, invited me to record short personal editorials looking at the world through the lens of ethics and character. Fortunately, the Character Counts! Commentaries drew a following and have run daily for more than 14 successive years, making it one of the longest radio features in radio history.

It’s an incredibly gratifying experience to share family stories, parables and poems with an audience I never see. Despite the inherent anonymity of the process, however, I’ve always felt an intimate bond with listeners who allow me to prod their consciences, provoke them to challenge assumptions and cherished beliefs and offer strategies that might improve their lives.

Though many listeners label me, I’m proud that just as many think I am a liberal as a conservative (I don’t consider myself either), and few people know that I am a dedicated independent without any affiliation with or consistent affinity toward either party.

I have loved my L.A. platform, but all good things come to an end. Today is my last CHARACTER COUNTS! commentary on KNX.

It’s a wonderful irony that my last CHARACTER COUNTS! commentary is at the beginning of National CHARACTER COUNTS! Week.

I am sincerely grateful to KNX for providing me with the opportunity to be a part of your life for so many years.

I’m going to keep writing, so please subscribe to my new blog at WhatWillMatter.com.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you for the last time that CHARACTER COUNTS!

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:01 AM | Permalink | Comment (17)

On Wednesday, the U.S. Senate passed Senate Resolution 292, A resolution designating the week beginning October 16, 2011, as "National Character Counts Week"

Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) sponsored the bill, along with co-sponsors Sen.Lamar Alexander (R-TN), Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-OH), Sen. Thad Cochran (R-MS), Sen. Michael B. Enzi (R-WY), Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI), Sen. Joseph Lieberman (I-CT), Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA), Sen. Mark L. Pryor (D-AR), and Sen. John D. Rockefeller, IV (D-WV).

Happy CHARACTER COUNTS! Week, everyone!

In the photo (L to R): Scott Raecker, executive director of CHARACTER COUNTS! in Iowa; Michael Josephson; Sen. Grassley; David Rosenberg, principal of Marsh Creek Corporate Services; Richard F. Blewitt, president and CEO, Blewitt Foundation.
Raecker, Rosenberg, and Blewitt are members of the Josephson Institute's Board of Governors, and Rosenberg is its chairman.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 12:28 PM | Permalink | Comment (0)

Why are negative management practices so prevalent?

They include yelling, cursing, insults (sometimes masked in sarcasm or masquerading as jokes), criticizing subordinates in front of others, threatening demotion or termination, and talking to adults as if they were children.

Why are so many managers insensitive to the demotivating impact of focusing almost exclusively on weaknesses and shortcomings without properly acknowledging successes and accomplishments?

Do they really believe that causing resentment, fear, or insecurity will produce better results than pride, self-confidence, and enthusiasm?

Some managers intentionally use negative tactics because they think it’s an effective way to get people to do what they’re told, but most managers characterized by the people who work for them as rude, inconsiderate, or abusive are totally unaware of how inappropriate or counterproductive their attempts to motivate are. They think they’re just being tough. The people under them think they’re just being jerks.

Many good people act badly when they become the boss because they’re under pressure from their own boss to get results. Maybe they’re simply mimicking the management styles of people they worked for. Or maybe they want to distinguish themselves from ineffective managers on the other extreme who try so hard to be everyone’s friend that they don’t set or achieve high goals or hold people accountable.

Whatever the reason, a far better approach is to treat everyone with respect by engaging and empowering others through inspiration and example. The best leaders bring out the best in people by making them feel good about themselves and their capabilities.

Inspiration is much more powerful than intimidation.

By the way, the same thing is true for parents and coaches.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:42 AM | Permalink | Comment (1)

If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?

Some people cheer up a room by entering it, others by leaving it.

What do you bring to your interactions with workmates, friends, and family?
Is it encouragement, optimism, or kind words? Or is it pessimism, criticism, or cynicism?

People often forget what we say and usually what we do, but as Maya Angelou said, “They always remember how we made them feel.”

Here are some other wise words about kindness:

“Wise sayings often fall on barren ground, but a kind word is never thrown away.”
– Sir Arthur Helps

“You will regret many things in life, but you will never regret being too kind or too fair.”
– Brian Tracy

“Don’t wait for people to be kind. Show them how.”
– Anonymous

“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.”
– Oscar Wilde

“That best portion of a good man’s life: his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.”
– William Wordsworth

“Kindness is loving people more than they deserve.”
– Joseph Joubert

“We are made kind by being kind.”
– Eric Hoffer

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
– Benjamin Franklin

“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.”
– Theodore Isaac Rubin, M.D.

“Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.”
– Robert Brault

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 8:56 AM | Permalink | Comment (4)

Michael was always upbeat. Some found his relentless good moods annoying, but attempts to mock or belittle his cheerfulness were just more fuel for his good nature.

Once he explained to a friend how he did it. "Every morning I look in the mirror and say good morning to myself. I see a note on the mirror that says ‘Choose,’ which reminds me I have a choice: I can I let my worries and disappointments dominate my thoughts and spread gloom wherever I go, or I can choose to be in a good mood no matter what and spread sunshine. I’ve learned that when I’m enthusiastic about life, I feel better. Usually so do others.

Years later, Michael fell off a high tower and almost died. When his old friend visited him, he was bandaged and bruised but as cheerful as ever.

He told his friend that when he regained consciousness and saw the doctors look at him as if he were dying, he resorted to his old habit of making a choice. "I could accept that my injuries were fatal, or I could choose to live. I chose to live."

His friend remarked surely it wasn’t that easy.

"Maybe not," Michael said. "But when they were preparing me for surgery, a doctor asked if I was allergic to anything. I said, ‘Apparently I’m allergic to gravity.’ He laughed.

"When I said, ‘Look, I choose to live. Can you make that happen?’ he nodded and said, ‘I’ll do my best.’

"Maybe my positive attitude helped, maybe it didn’t. I choose to believe it did."

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

*This parable is derived from a similar story told in Chicken Soup for the Soul.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:01 AM | Permalink | Comment (1)

Yom Kippur is the highest of the High Holy Days in the Jewish religion. The essence of this sacred day – the true root of the holiday – includes but goes well beyond fasting and praying. It requires believers to make a personal, unflinching assessment of their character and conduct, not as an end in itself, but as part of a process of mandated self-improvement to meet our ultimate religious duty: to become a person of exemplary virtue, a mensch.

The essence of Yom Kippur is its focus on reflection, repentance, and reparation. To clean the slate for a New Year, Jews must identify and accept accountability for all words and deeds that may have injured or offended others and seek forgiveness not only from God but from each person we wounded in the past year. That’s called atonement.

The ritual is specific: One must convey an apology and ask forgiveness. Where possible, we must also seek to repair the damage done.

The really hard thing is that the confession must be sincere and unconditional. Asking for a pardon while including self-justification (“I’m sorry I said those mean things, but you hurt my feelings first.”) negates the acceptance of accountability and often turns the apology into an accusation.

But there’s a great payoff. Once we’ve properly expressed repentance, the offended party is morally obligated to forgive us. And, of course, we are required to forgive those who apologize to us. The point is, continuing to hold a grudge is not permitted.

You don’t have to be Jewish to appreciate and benefit from the wisdom of this practice as a way to strengthen our character and improve and repair relationships.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:57 AM | Permalink | Comment (0)

Bad stuff happens. People get sick, lose a loved one, get fired, and make mistakes.

Though these events are facts that become a permanent part of our history, the quality of our lives is not determined by the number or nature of our bad experiences, but how we interpret and react to them.

Most of us have a default position in our response to painful and disappointing experiences that is either positive-oriented or negative-oriented.

Pessimists explain adverse events to themselves in ways that perpetuate negative feelings about the past and generate fear and anxiety about the future.

Optimists see positive aspects of most situations and they expect people to be good and things to work out.

The good news is that negative thinking is not a permanent attribute; it’s just a bad habit.

Here are three strategies to transform Gloomy Gus into Cheerful Charlie, or at least move Gus from negative to neutral: diversion, distraction and disputation.

Diversion consists of consciously re-directing your thoughts every time negative explanations and predictions emerge – “She hates me, it’s my fault, I can’t win.” Don’t allow yourself to dwell on feelings of hopelessness or helplessness. Negativity may come uninvited but you don’t have to let it stay. Think about good things, your successes and all you have to be grateful for.

Distraction involves actions that take your mind off whatever is making you sad or anxious. Read a book, play a game, watch a movie, surf the Net. Don’t let negative thoughts take root.

The most potent strategy, however, is disputation. Put your pessimism on trial. Aggressively challenge negative explanations and assumptions. Convince the jury in your mind that pessimism is a lie and argue for positive interpretations.

Try it. It really works.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:19 AM | Permalink | Comment (0)

Do you think you’re any wiser today than you were five years ago? Do you think you’ll be wiser still in another five years? I hope the answer to both questions is an emphatic "yes." One of the benefits of growing older is getting better. And we get better by learning.

I’m not just talking about new facts like how a volcanic eruption in Iceland can prevent airline traffic in most of Europe. I’m talking about learning basic nuggets of wisdom that can change our lives.

For starters, I’ve learned that as long as I’m willing to learn, I can learn and the fact that I’m wiser today doesn’t mean I was foolish or incompetent before. You don’t have to be sick to get better.

I’ve learned that no matter how old I am, my life and character are works in process and that there will always be a gap between who I am and who I want to be.

I’ve learned that it’s easy to mask moral compromises with rationalizations and that my character is revealed not by my words or intentions but by my willingness to do the right thing even when it costs more than I want to pay.

I’ve learned that my character is more important than my competence and that being significant is more important than being successful.

I’ve learned that I often judge myself by my good intentions but that I’ll be judged by my last worst act.

I’ve learned that the surest road to happiness is good relationships and that striving to be a good person is the surest road to good relationships.

Finally, I’ve learned that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional and that it’s not what happens to me that matters most but what happens in me.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:17 AM | Permalink | Comment (0)

Every full life has its bright days and its dark days, its triumphs and defeats, its calm and stormy seas. All these high and low experiences could justify viewing the past through the lens of gratitude or disappointment. And the way we characterize our history will determine whether we look toward our future with hopeful expectations or anxious trepidation.

Scientists tell us we are born with, or soon develop, a natural “set point” toward positivism or negativism. Those lucky enough to start with a positive disposition have a great advantage. Their optimism not only causes them to interpret their experiences in ways that makes them happy, it also makes them healthier and more successful in relationships and in achieving their goals.

What’s more, optimists tend to persevere in the face of adversity while pessimists tend to give up, certain they can’t win.

Sadly, pessimists greatly outnumber optimists. Some rationalize their handicap by labeling people who see the world through rose-colored glasses as naïve or foolish; others pride themselves on being realists – and they are. It’s just that their reality is painted in shades of black and gray while the optimist sees vivid colors.

Many pessimists wish they could rid themselves of the burden of negative thinking but, true to form, they are sure they can’t change.

Not so! says Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology. Anyone can become an optimist simply by learning to think about their reactions to adversity in a new way. His book “Learned Optimism” is worth reading, but in a nutshell, the pessimist can change his spots by three strategies: distraction, diversion, and disputation.

To learn more, tune in tomorrow.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 8:59 AM | Permalink | Comment (1)

My commentary about caring more and judging less by giving a few dollars to panhandlers generated lots of letters, most disagreeing with me. Here's another story likely to agitate some of you.

A man named Jack was rushing home to tell his family about a $1,000 bonus check he’d unexpectedly received at work.

Before he got to his car, a desperate-looking woman holding a baby who looked quite sick asked him for a few dollars. She said her child was dying of leukemia. Jack reached into his pocket for some loose bills and accidentally pulled out his bonus check.

He looked at the check and then at the baby. Acting spontaneously, he endorsed it to the woman on the spot. “Use this to do what you can for your baby.”

When he told his family what he’d done, his wife was stone silent and his teenage son ridiculed him.

Deflated, Jack said, “We don’t need the money. It felt like the right thing to do.”

A week later, his son triumphantly waved a newspaper article in his face. It told of a local woman with a baby who was arrested for scamming people. “This is the lady you gave the money to, isn’t it?” he chided.

“Yes,” Jack replied, suddenly beaming with joy.

“What are you smiling about?” his son demanded. “She made a fool of you.”

“Yes, but there’s something much more important,” Jack said, “I'm so relieved the baby’s not dying.”

Red-faced with anger, his son declared, “You’re an even bigger fool than I thought.”

After a long, thoughtful pause, Jack’s wife embraced her husband lovingly. “I’m so proud to be married to a man with such a generous heart.”

Who was right – the son or the wife?

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 8:42 AM | Permalink | Comment (6)