Despite romanticized myths about the gloriously carefree teenage years, adolescence has always been an emotional battlefield where young people must fight their way through insecurity, depression and anger.

For many teens, classrooms, playgrounds and hallways are hostile environments where name-calling, malicious gossip, taunting, and physical bullying regularly threaten their emotional and physical well-being

Technology has not made kids meaner but it has provided them with new weapons to inflict more severe and lasting damage on each other. And while greater vigilance by schools and stiffer penalties for bullies may reduce unkind behavior, somewhat more is needed to protect young people from each other.

Hard as we may try, we can't insulate children from all negative interactions with their peers, excessive pressure to succeed, debilitating self-doubt, or feelings of alienation. We can, however, help them develop emotional resilience, the inner strength to prevent or purge toxic feelings.

Emotional resilience consists of two major attributes: mental toughness and realistic optimism.

Mental toughness is the ability to handle problems and pressures without panic or surrender. It's the ability to overcome negative emotions and to rebound from disappointment, disruptive change, illness, or misfortune without being overwhelmed or acting in dysfunctional ways.

Through discussions, simulations and counseling, we can teach kids how to discount or ignore hurtful words, to lose without being defeated, to fail and not become failures, and to deal with rejection without becoming hopelessly dejected.

We can also instill a sense of realistic optimism. We can give them confidence in their capacity to survive, knowing that tough times are temporary. We can teach them Little Orphan Annie's undaunted certainty that, no matter how bleak it is today, "the sun will come out tomorrow."

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

___________

In the most extreme cases, young people seek the ultimate escape of suicide, and kids are killing themselves in unprecedented proportions. In the past 25 years, the suicide rate for those between 10 and 19 has tripled to become the third most common cause of death among adolescents.

In 2009, 13.8% of U.S. high school students reported that they had seriously considered attempting suicide during the 12 months preceding the survey; 6.3% of students reported that they had actually attempted suicide one or more times during the same period.
Suicide rates differ between boys and girls. Girls think about and attempt suicide about twice as often as boys, and tend to attempt suicide by overdosing on drugs or cutting themselves. Yet boys die by suicide about four times as often girls, perhaps because they tend to use more lethal methods, such as firearms, hanging, or jumping from heights.

For more information, go to this document from the federal Centers for Disease Control.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:11 AM | Permalink | Comment (4)

Jews all over the world are in the midst of a ten-day period called the High Holy Days. It starts with Rosh Hashanah, the celebration of the New Year, and ends with Yom Kippur, a solemn day of atonement.

The overriding theme is the pursuit of human perfection and the obligation of each person continually assess and improve his character, or as Mordecai Kaplan put it, "to seek reconstruction of one's personality in accordance with the highest ethical possibilities of human nature."

It's more than just making New Year's resolutions. The idea is to pause from our daily lives and sit in objective judgment of ourselves. To examine the state of our souls, to hold ourselves accountable, and to acknowledge any any gaps between their conscience and their conduct, between the standards we profess and the actions we perform.

We may not always have the moral strength to bridge the gap between our ideals and our actions but we have the moral duty to try. Our sins and shortcomings are compounded when we ignore or accept them.

Jews are given four specific tasks: one, to reflect; two, to repent; three, to seek forgiveness; and four, to forgive those who ask for it. Though the process is clothed in religious ritual, these concepts are equally powerful in a secular context. Religionists and secularists agree that humanity is unique among living creatures in the capacity to understand good and evil and to choose between them.

And whether we call it morality or ethics, whether we think in terms of our souls or our character, all those who have pondered the purpose and potential of human life have concluded that a virtuous life is the best life.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:35 AM | Permalink | Comment (0)

Years ago, Rabbi Steven Carr Reuben told the story of a little girl who learned to tie her shoes for the first time. After a moment of triumphant celebration, she got sad, almost despondent. Her mystified parents asked why she wasn’t happier. The little girl acknowledged that she was proud of her achievement, but she sobbed, “Now I’ll have to tie my own shoes for the rest of my life!”

The rabbi deftly related this story to the central theme of the High Holy Days: a lifelong commitment to reflection and the pursuit of perfection of our character. Once we learn that we have a moral duty to choose right from wrong, it’s like saying, “Now I have to be good for the rest of my life!”

What a bummer! It’s like accepting the need to follow a no-exceptions healthy diet forever. Well, maybe it’s not quite that bad.

Most theologians agree that God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, and we should not expect that of ourselves.

There’s room for moments of self-indulgence and occasional lapses in judgment or will. That’s why forgiveness is so important in all major religions. Christians, Jews, and Muslims share a common belief that all humans are works-in-progress and that self-reflection, repentance, and resolve are critical to personal reform.

We should, however, strive toward perfection and exercise our free will in the direction of goodness.

The challenge for those who want to be better is to find a happy medium between being too hard on ourselves and being too easy. At one extreme are self-hate, self-contempt, and a sense of hopelessness; at the other are self-satisfaction, self-righteousness, and complacency.

The key is to do our best, to care about and devote conscious energy to continuous self-improvement.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:22 AM | Permalink | Comment (1)

...and you could win a personally inscribed copy of Michael Josephson's poem "What Will Matter."

Please click here to take a quick survey and help us decide on our next steps after the October 17 termination of Michael Josephson's KNX-1070 AM radio commentaries in Los Angeles. (For more information, see our blog and the LA Times' "Big Picture" blog.)
In gratitude, we will randomly select ten respondents to receive a free, personally inscribed copy of Michael Josephson's classic poem, "What Will Matter."

And don't forget -- there's still time to
WIN A PRIVATE LUNCH WITH MICHAEL
Write an essay of 250 words or less on how Michael Josephson's commentaries have impacted your life. The authors of five winning essays will be invited to have a special luncheon with Michael. Submit your essays before October 17 to charactercounts@jiethics.org, and write "Contest" in the subject line.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comment (1)

My wife and I were with our daughter Samara and other parents of freshmen at New York University’s Tisch School of Drama to hear about the training our children would receive in their quest to become actors.

Clearly, some parents were uneasy about the career path chosen by their children. One father asked directly, “What do I tell family and friends who think going off to college to become an actor is foolish or irresponsible?”

The NYU folks gave a thoughtful response acknowledging the long odds but stressing the value and transferability of both the academic and professional training that our children would receive. They said many graduates do make a living in the entertainment industry and that those who don’t find other ways to support themselves.

This pragmatic answer satisfied most of the parents who see college as a vocational school, but I realized it was incomplete when I looked at the radiant face of my daughter. She was too preoccupied climbing the mountain she chose to worry about whether she would be a star someday or even whether she would make a living as an actor. She is where she wants to be, doing what she wants to do. What parent could hope for more?

I wanted to tell the doubting dad to tell anyone who asked that he was so happy his son was pursuing his dream and proud to be able to provide the opportunity for him to do so.
The simple fact is that those who don’t make it as actors will find something else to do, but they will never have to suffer the agony of regretting not having tried.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:01 AM | Permalink | Comment (3)

Though intensive media attention on bullying has died down, the problem persists in many forms, and it continues to diminish the lives of tens of thousands of young people every day. According to a recent survey, roughly half of all high school students said that in the past year they were bullied in a manner that seriously upset them. A similar number said they had bullied someone else.

That's an awful lot of meanness.

Trying to eliminate the problem, schools are scurrying to develop new anti-bullying programs and legislatures are writing new laws to criminalize bullying. Sadly, neither of these strategies is likely to make a serious dent unless they are part of a much broader effort to create a positive school climate that discourages all forms of hurtful or demeaning words or acts.

Anti-bullying strategies seek to crack down on bullying, hoping to deter abusive behavior by threats of punishment. They often create legalistic procedures that put a heavy responsibility on schools or courts to prove the conduct occurred.

A better strategy is to instill, reinforce, and reward the values of empathy, compassion, and acceptance. Instead of anti-bullying programs, we need a pro-kindness strategy. Kind people don't bully or look the other way when someone else is bullied.

We need to create a "culture of kindness," encouraging a spirit of generosity and love where differences are accepted and celebrated, rather than targeted. In a culture of kindness, students stand up for and next to one another, all for one and one for all.
A dedicated effort to teach, advocate, and model kindness will work much better than efforts to punish meanness.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:22 AM | Permalink | Comment (2)

Despite a continuous parade of stories revealing the shortcomings of people and the moral deterioration of society, I am an incorrigible optimist.

There are two aspects of life-improving optimism: 1) an optimist has a positive outlook about the future, believing sincerely that things will get better; and 2) the optimist sees and is grateful for the silver lining to every dark cloud.

Here’s an ode to optimism by Edgar Guest worth posting on your refrigerator.

Things Work Out

Because it rains when we wish it wouldn't,
Because men do what they often shouldn't,
Because crops fail, and plans go wrong
Some of us grumble all day long.
But somehow, in spite of the care and doubt,
It seems at last that things work out.

Because we lose where we hoped to gain,
Because we suffer a little pain,
Because we must work when we'd like to play
Some of us whimper along life's way.
But somehow, as day always follows the night,
Most of our troubles work out all right.

Because we cannot forever smile,
Because we must trudge in the dust awhile,
Because we think that the way is long
Some of us whimper that life's all wrong.
But somehow we live and our sky grows bright,
And everything seems to work out all right.

So bend to your trouble and meet your care,
For the clouds must break, and the sky grow fair.
Let the rain come down, as it must and will,
But keep on working and hoping still.
For in spite of the grumblers who stand about,
Somehow, it seems, all things work out.

So if you are going through a tough patch, hang in and hang on. Things will work out.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
______________
These are some of my favorite quotes on optimism.

In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip. -- Daniel L. Reardon

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute. -- Gil Stern

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised. -- George F. Will

An optimist is the human personification of spring. -- Susan J. Bissonette

A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities, and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties. -- Harry Truman

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:17 AM | Permalink | Comment (0)

For most of us, there’s something both wonderful and worrisome about large family gatherings. On the good side, we often can experience real pleasure in spending time with relatives with whom we have so many common memories of people and events. What’s more, being with parents, siblings, and cousins who’ve known us since childhood often helps us see ourselves more clearly without pretensions or illusions of self-importance. Finally, shared family history and the ties of blood and marriage can create a tribal sense of identity and belonging that is comforting.

Yet few families are able to avoid the rifts and feuds caused by unpaid loans, unreturned favors, unfulfilled requests for help, broken promises, and most of all, careless or cruel comments or gossip. Although we think we should love everyone in our family, we often don’t. Many of us have to struggle against the wisdom of the old adage, “familiarity breeds contempt.”

But in a world so filled with throwaway and transitory relationships, we should more highly prize the stability and strength of family ties. In dealing with family, we have a greater, not a lesser, obligation to avoid unkind, insensitive, and hurtful remarks that can spawn resentments and grudges. We need to monitor the tendency to feel competitive or envious and, instead, take real pride and pleasure in the success of any family member.

Some of your most enduring and endearing friendships will come from your family.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:11 AM | Permalink | Comment (6)

It’s in the news all the time – kids are cheating in school in new ways and at unprecedented rates.

One of the reasons is the way schools and parents deal with or ignore the underlying issues of integrity and character. For instance, a popular thing adults say to discourage kids from cheating is, “You’re only cheating yourself.”

Of course cheating damages credibility and character, but it’s also dishonest and unfair. Cheaters don’t just cheat themselves. They cheat everyone affected by their cheating including honest students who are put at a competitive disadvantage and college admission officers and employers who think a student’s grade accurately reflects his or her competence. What’s more, cheaters dishonor their families, teachers, and schools.

When we tell kids they’re cheating themselves because they aren’t learning the material, we have to remember that most kids who cheat think what they’re asked to learn is unimportant. They’re quite comfortable not knowing the value of X or the capital of Zimbabwe. As to mastering skills, cynical and coldly pragmatic students believe that learning to cheat is more useful than learning the material.

Finally, it’s dangerous to promote self-centered, cost-benefit calculations about cheating in a way that ignores or minimizes the crucial moral issues of honesty and honor. Nearly two-thirds of high school students cheat on exams because they’re not afraid of getting caught and they get better grades.

To address the problem, we must promote integrity, not self-interest, and we must tell kids that whether they get away with it or not, cheating's wrong.

Of course, it helps if we really believe that.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:03 AM | Permalink | Comment (4)

Reading about the 31-year-old “rogue trader” arrested in London for unauthorized transactions that cost the Swiss Bank UBS $2 billion caused me to think about the power of one person. I’m not talking about great heroes and villains who changed the course of history, but smaller acts by ordinary people.

There are lots of angles to thinking about the power of one. Edward Everett Hale said, “It’s true I am only one but I am one. And the fact that I cannot do everything will not prevent me from doing all that I can do.”

An unknown philosopher took a different approach: “To the world you are only one person, but to one person you can be the world.”

I recently came upon a poem by another unknown author called “Just One."

One song can spark a moment,
One flower can wake the dream
One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal

One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room
One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.

One step must start each journey.
One word must start each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care.

One voice can speak with wisdom,
One heart can know what's true,

One life can make a difference,
And that life can be you!

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

__________

Here are some bonus quotes on the Power of One:

The power of one man or one woman doing the right thing for the right reason, and at the right time, is the greatest influence in our society. -- Jack Kemp

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. -- Margaret Mead

It's okay to tell people it can't be done so long as you get out of the way of people who are doing it. -- Michael Josephson

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 8:46 AM | Permalink | Comment (5)

Having recently made it through the flood threat of Hurricane Irene, I was reminded of an old parable about a fellow named Bart who was caught inside his house during a flood. The water was about a foot high when a rescue truck offered to evacuate him. Bart refused, saying, “God will provide.”

The water rose higher and Bart had to climb onto his roof. A man in a rowboat urged Bart to get aboard. But Bart was adamant. “God will provide.”

When the flood waters rose still higher, all Bart could do was cling to his chimney. Scared and cold, he shook his fist toward the sky and yelled, “God, why have you forsaken me?”

A helicopter pilot come to rescue him yelled back, “Look Mister, He sent you a truck, He sent you a boat, He sent you this helicopter. Now use the arms He gave you and grab the rope!”

Bart reminds me of people who moan and whine about never getting the breaks other people get while passing up opportunities that could help them get what they want. Remember the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion who expected the Wizard of Oz to give them the one thing they thought they needed, only to find out they already had what they were looking for? Many of us greatly underestimate and underuse the power within us and the resources around us.

Wanting, wishing, and worrying aren’t enough. Real success and personal happiness come to those who accept responsibility for their lives. They seize obvious opportunities, search out and find hidden ones, and when necessary they even make their own.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:30 AM | Permalink | Comment (3)

Whether you're a sports fan or not, you have to acknowledge the powerful cultural influence that sports have on our culture. The values of millions of participants and spectators are shaped by the values conveyed in sports, including our views of what is permissible and proper in the competitive pursuit of personal goals.

Professional sports and even highly competitive intercollegiate sports seem irreversibly addicted to the idea that sports is basically a business and that the only thing that makes sports profitable is winning. And if that means we have to tolerate egocentric self-indulgent showboating or whining, violence or even cheating, so be it. Clearly these attitudes have invaded youth sports as well. Everywhere we see that a lot of adults -- both coaches and parents -- need to grow up and realize the game is not about either their egos or ambitions.

The appropriate mission of youth sports is to provide kids a safe environment in which they have fun, build character, learn to practice sportsmanship, and develop skills and traits that help them become responsible citizens and live happy, healthy lives. Striving to win is an important aspect of competition and teaching kids how to compete effectively and honorably is important, but youth sports is not primarily about winning; it's about trying to win and learning through effort and improvement.

Of course winning is fun and kids like to win, but it's the adults who distort the experience because of their need to win. No matter how much we try, only a few youngsters will move beyond high school sports, and an even tinier percentage will make a living from athletics. But when youth sports are done right, every participant can build positive life skills and gain lifelong memories from the pursuit of victory with honor.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Learn more about Josephson Institute's sportsmanship programs here.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:22 AM | Permalink | Comment (2)

If you had the choice of winning $1 million in the lottery or saving a stranger’s life, which would you choose? I suspect many of you think you should say, "saving a life," but what you are really thinking is how much better your life would be if you were rich.

If the test was which act improves the world most, sets an example most worth following, or is most noble, then the “save a life” option wins hands down. But what if the test was more self-centered: which is most likely to meaningfully improve your life? I think the answer is still: save the life.

Sure, you can do a lot with a million dollars, but for most people, doing something that is worthy has a greater and more lasting value than anything you can buy with money. In earlier times they would say a good name is the most valuable asset you can have. Is it really any different today?

Strangers may envy, but they don’t admire, a lottery winner. Friends and family may rejoice, but they aren't proud of, the lottery winner. And no feeling of worthiness comes to the person who was lucky to hold a winning number.

Saving a life. That’s something special. That's a form of immortality. And that’s what a dozen bystanders in Utah experienced when they engaged in a spontaneous act of spectacular humanity and courage as they lifted a blazing car to save a stranger.

There was a collision between a motorcycle and a car. Both vehicles caught fire and the cyclist slid under the car. Dozens of bystanders, mainly college students and construction workers, watched in horror. One man tried futilely to lift the car then five others ran to join him. Unable to budge the car they retreated and the flames grew. A woman looked under the car and reported the cyclist was still alive. The six rushed back soon joined by six others. Together a dozen strangers easily lifted the car, and 21-year-old Brandon Wright was dragged to safety. The diversity of the daring dozen -- grad students in math from Lebanon and Ghana, construction workers and businessmen -- adds to the symbolic significance of this act of unity and humanity.

The rescuers won the undying gratitude of Brandon and his family and, best of all, a lifelong title: heroes.

What’s a million dollars compared to that?

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:08 AM | Permalink | Comment (8)

A man and his companion lost their way in a forest. The companion despaired, but the man said maybe some good would come of it. They came upon a stranger who needed the man’s help. The stranger turned out to be a prince who gave the man a beautiful horse.

His neighbors praised his good luck and said, “How blessed you are to have such a magnificent animal.”

The man said, “Who’s to say whether this is a blessing or a curse?”

The next day the horse ran away, and the neighbors said, “How horrible that you were cursed with the loss of your horse.”

The man replied, “Who’s to say whether this is a curse or a blessing? Perhaps some good will come of this.”

The next day the horse returned leading five wild horses. “You were right!” his neighbors exclaimed. “The curse was a blessing in disguise. Now you’re blessed with six horses.”

The man replied, “Perhaps, but who’s to say whether this is a blessing or a curse?”

The next day his only son tried to ride one of the wild horses. He was thrown to the ground and broke his leg. The neighbors said, “How wise you were. Your blessing really was a curse.”

The man replied, “There may be good yet. Who’s to say whether this is a curse or a blessing?”

The next day soldiers came through the village and took every able-bodied boy to fight in a war where it was almost certain all would be killed. Because the man’s son was injured, the boy was the only one not taken. “How blessed are you to keep your son!” the neighbors said.

The man replied, “Who’s to say? I don’t know whether there’s a curse in every blessing, but I am sure there’s a blessing in every curse.”

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comment (3)

Listening to 9/11 survivors re-live the horrendous event that shattered their lives should remind us all to treat every day as a gift, and to treasure every opportunity to give or receive love.

This is especially true for parents. A favorite story is about a 10-year-old boy who was told by his father not to expect him to go to his soccer games. The dad explained to his son that he was a very busy lawyer and that if he wanted to become a partner, he had to work most nights and weekends.

One evening the boy asked his dad, “How much do you make an hour?”

The dad answered, “My clients pay me $300 an hour.”

The boy gulped. “Wow, that’s a lot. Could you lend me $100?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

The boy ran to his room sobbing and his father followed. "Son, I’m sorry. I’ll lend you the money, but can you tell me what it’s for?”

The son replied, “Well, I’ve saved $200, and with your hundred, I’ll have enough. I won the most valuable player award and I’d like to buy an hour of your time so you can come to our banquet.”

The father felt like he’d been stabbed in the heart as he realized the cost he’d paid for his priorities. None of his clients needed him as much as his son, and nothing he could do as a lawyer was more important than what he could do as a father. How had he missed that insight?

It’s always difficult to balance job demands and family needs, but the test of whether you work too much is simple: Are you able to be the kind of parent your child deserves?

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:16 AM | Permalink | Comment (9)

Even as we enter a second decade after the 9/11 attacks, fear remains one of the most destructive legacies of terrorism. The further we get from the fire and dust of the decimated twin towers and the damaged Pentagon, the more evident it is how many ways fear amplifies the impact of the attacks.

In moderation, fear can be a good thing, warning us of dangers and inducing us to resist urges to be rash or reckless. The problem is, fear has no perspective. People who let fear control them subject themselves to the throbbing torture of continuous anxiety. They allow happy thoughts, pleasurable feelings and hopeful dreams to be strangled by a growing vine of angst. They imprision themselves with worries that prevent them from traveling, assembling in large crowds, or spending money.

Fear is useless and irrational. As Leo Buscaglia put it, “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” And most of the things we fear never come about. In a year, do you think you will even remember all the things you were so worried about today?

Glenn Turner tell us, “Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere.” The roots of anxiety are deep. But like weeds, they can be removed. Perhaps the Lion King’s strategy is better. Hakuna Matata!

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:21 AM | Permalink | Comment (5)

I’ve been enlightened and uplifted by many articles and TV specials commemorating the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks.

It’s important and appropriate that we pause to honor with reverence and gratitude the lives lost and mangled and the noble efforts of those who struggled mightily to rescue them.

We should learn the lesson that life is fragile. We’re all vulnerable, not merely to terrorism, but to various sudden external forces, from car collisions to cancer. This reminder should not make us fearful or insecure; rather, it should inspire gratitude for every precious moment of life.

We should also be reminded that 9/11 brought out the best in us - compassion, empathy, charity, and a sense of unity.

In another week, however, I suspect our memories and feelings about this catastrophe will, once again, become more muted and less painful. That’s how it should be.

Life-changing tragic events dot the lives of all of us – the death of a loved one, the end of a marriage, the loss of a home or business. How we cope with these calamities often determines the quality of our lives.

We must not be imprisoned by anxiety or grief by events like 9/11. It’s not healthy or helpful to repeatedly re-experience the pain of old wounds. Self-inflicted suffering is pointless and damaging.

We shouldn’t forget what happened but we are entitled to live happy lives, and that requires us to let go of the grief of terrible times and to move on.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:31 AM | Permalink | Comment (11)

Dr. Seuss said, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

So I’ve mustered my best smile to inform you I was recently given notice by KNX that they will discontinue running my radio commentaries as of October 17. Whatever business or programmatic reasons led to the decision, I want to express sincere and unequivocal gratitude to CBS and KNX for providing me this platform to talk about ethics and character for fourteen-and-a-half years. It has been an exceptional privilege to speak from my heart about things I care about. I hope it has made a difference.

For sound business reasons, I’m told, there will be no announcement on the radio, so if you know other KNX listeners, please tell them. As this newsletter is based on the radio commentaries, I haven’t decided yet whether I can or should continue the intense writing effort and justify the expense without the large radio audience. Your thoughts and suggestions are welcome.

Win a Lunch With Michael Josephson!

In celebration of the end of one of the longest-running features in American radio history, five listeners or readers will enjoy a very special private lunch with Michael in Los Angeles, and receive personal gifts, including signed books of his commentaries and a signed copy of his classic poem, “What Will Matter.”

To qualify for the luncheon and gifts (transportation not included), write 250 words or fewer on how Michael’s commentaries have had a positive impact on your life. Send your entry to charactercounts@jiethics.org, and put “Commentary Contest” in the subject line of your e-mail. The deadline is midnight, October 17. Please stay within the word limit – it’s a matter of fairness.

We will read all submissions and select the top five. Later on, look for an announcement about a special webinar in which Michael will talk about what his connection to so many listeners has meant to him, and answer questions.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:15 AM | Permalink | Comment (126)

As the nasty rhetoric of the upcoming presidential campaign sends the message that leadership must be aggressive and confrontive, consider this parable about leadership.

A student assigned to write an essay about an effective leader wrote this story:

"I’ve been taking a bus to school for years. Most passengers keep to themselves and no one ever talks to anyone else.

"About a year ago, an elderly man got on the bus and said loudly to the driver, 'Good morning!' Most people looked up, annoyed, and the bus driver just grunted. The next day the man got on at the same stop and again he said loudly, 'Good morning!' to the driver. Another grunt. By the fifth day, the driver relented and greeted the man with a semi-cheerful 'Good morning!' The man announced, 'My name is Benny,' and asked the driver, 'What’s yours?' The driver said his name was Ralph.

"That was the first time any of us heard the driver's name and soon people began to talk to each other and say hello to Ralph and Benny. Soon Benny extended his cheerful 'Good morning!' to the whole bus. Within a few days his 'Good morning!' was returned by a whole bunch of 'Good mornings' and the entire bus seemed to be friendlier. People got to know each other.

"If a leader is someone who makes something happen, Benny was our leader in friendliness.

"A month ago, Benny didn't get on the bus and we haven’t seen him since. Everyone began to ask about Benny and lots of people said he may have died. No one knew what to do and the bus got awful quiet again.

"So last week, I started to act like Benny and say, 'Good morning!' to everyone and they cheered up again. I guess I'm the leader now. I hope Benny comes back to see what he started."

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:05 AM | Permalink | Comment (6)

Ann’s father, Sam Burke, was in the last stages of cancer, and his needs had gone beyond what she could provide at home. She was distraught at the thought of placing him in a convalescent home.

The check-in process confirmed her worst fears. Administrators, nurses, and doctors who seemed bothered, bored, or burned out quickly transformed Sam Burke into just another patient.

Driving home with tears in her eyes, she remembered when she told her dad that she hated her dorm during her first year of college. “Never accept the unacceptable,” he had told her. “There’s nothing you can’t make better if you put your mind to it.”

Determined to make his last days better, Ann got the names of every person at the convalescent home who might work with her father and delivered a personally addressed envelope to each of them. It contained a note and pictures of her dad getting married, posing with his children, and in military uniform.

The note said, “This is my dad, Sam Burke. A good and proud man who fought for his country and worked hard for his family. I know you will treat him with kindness and dignity. I am very grateful.”

During her next few visits, she made sure to introduce her father to everyone: “This is my dad, Sam Burke.” Soon, the looks of suspicion disappeared, and the staff returned her smiles and personally greeted Sam. Each time they did, Sam squeezed Ann’s hand.

When he died months later, Ann received a card signed by the entire staff: “Thanks for entrusting us with your dad, Sam, and for reminding us why we do what we do. He must have been a great father, because you sure are a great daughter.”

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:55 AM | Permalink | Comment (6)

In preparing my letter to my college-bound daughter Samara, I found and created lots of quotes that I liked, but that didn't make the cut. Here are some of them.

1. Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.
2. People don’t have to like you. You’re not a Facebook status.
3. Cultivate the power to choose your thoughts just as you choose your clothes. You will get more of what you want and enjoy more of what you get.
4. You should expect people to pay a fair price for their mistakes, but it’s not fair to make them pay more than once.
5. You can dodge your responsibilities, but not the consequences of dodging your responsibilities.
6. Don’t worry about the world coming to an end; it’s already tomorrow in Australia. -- Charles Schultz
7. To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.
8. Be kind whenever possible; it’s always possible.
9. Any effort can result in failure but you are a failure only when you stop making the effort.
10. Happiness is where you find it, but it’s not always where you seek it.
11. It’s good to say what you mean and mean what you say; just don’t be mean when you say it.
12. You get a much better return by giving people a bit of your heart rather than a piece of your mind.
13. The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them.
14. When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this: you haven’t. -- Thomas Edison
15. Live without pretending. Love without depending. Listen without defending. Speak without offending.
16. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 8:56 AM | Permalink | Comment (4)

There is something special about this Labor Day coming just a week before the tenth anniversary of 9/11. One legacy for those of us who have vivid memories of seeing the massive twin towers collapse into a plume of dust is a strong ever-present sense of vulnerability, offset by recognition that life is a gift that must be savored and appreciated in its smallest increments from days to hours to minutes to moments.

Thus, heightened awareness of the unavoidable risks of natural and human-caused calamities should cause us to assess more diligently and more often whether we have found the personal ingredients for happiness – in our relationships, in our work, and for many of us, in our faith.

Work is a dominant part of our lives and a major determinant of its quality.

Between the extremes of indolence and workaholism is a place described as work-life balance. For people whose careers are paramount, those who define themselves in terms of their jobs, and those who feel an especially heavy burden as providers for their families, this place is hard to find and harder to hold on to.

There’s nothing wrong with working hard, and certainly there’s nothing wrong with loving your work, unless you are neglecting duties to others, messing up important relationships, or missing opportunities to enrich your life in other ways.

In the book Living a Life That Matters, Harold Kushner points out, "I’ve never met anyone on their deathbed who said, ‘I wish I spent more time at the office.'"

The key is balance.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 8:45 AM | Permalink | Comment (0)

Labor Day is, first and foremost, a day off from work to do something you enjoy, or to catch up on domestic tasks awaiting your attention.

It’s also an ideal time to think about the role that work plays in your life.

For some, work is a necessary evil. It’s doing what they have to do to make a decent living. For others, work is doing what they want to do to make good life.

Teddy Roosevelt said, "Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." The writer George Sand put it another way: "Work is not a punishment; it’s a reward."

Comedian Johnny Carson said, "Never continue in a job you don’t enjoy. If you’re happy in what you’re doing, you’ll like yourself and you’ll have inner peace and more success than you could possibly have imagined."

According to W. H. Auden, three things are needed if people are to be happy in their work: "They must be fit for it, they must not do too much of it, and they must have a sense of success in it." How does this apply to your job?

If you can, find a way to make a living doing what you love. If you can’t, find a way to love something about how you make a living. Perhaps it’s enjoyment from relationships with co-workers and customers, pride and pleasure in serving others, or knowing that you are learning and growing. It might be the simple satisfaction you get from a job well done.

The bottom line is, if you want to be happy it’s your job to enjoy your job.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 8:45 AM | Permalink | Comment (5)

This is the promised Part Two of my list of words of wisdom for my daughter who just entered college.

1. Take control of your life by taking control of your attitudes.
2. Choose to be happy. Choose to be cheerful. Choose to be optimistic.
3. Pursue your passions, but don’t confuse feelings with facts, fun with happiness, or pleasure with fulfillment.
4. Listen to both your heart and your head.
5. If you live a full life, there will be sadness, disappointment, and frustration, but tough times are temporary.
6. Persist with the confidence that no negative emotion can survive your will to be happy.
7. Be cautious, but don’t be afraid to risk failure.
8. Learn from every setback, and, on important things, never, never quit.
9. Live within your means; keep your needs simple.
10. Never let your happiness depend on things.
11. Become known for your honesty and integrity; be someone everyone trusts.
12. Treat everyone with respect, even when they don’t seem to deserve it.
13. Be someone others can count on, and find people you can count on.
14. Be fair, kind, and compassionate even when you don’t feel like it.
15. Choose friends who want the best for you and bring out the best in you.
16. Be willing to love with all your heart, but don’t make your happiness depend on the love or approval of anyone.
17. Insist on being treated with respect; do not make anyone a priority who only makes you an option.
18. Finally, don’t settle for a little life. Fill it with purpose and meaning, and people worthy of your love and respect.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:06 AM | Permalink | Comment (4)