A few years ago, 14 students at an affluent public high school were involved in a school break-in. They weren’t vandals and weren’t trying to steal anything. Their goal was to alter the computer records of their academic transcripts so they’d have a better chance of getting into premier colleges.

Some people were horrified, others amused, and still others treated the matter as a minor youthful indiscretion. The superintendent fell into the last category. “It’s a one-time infraction of the rules,” he declared, imposing a five-day suspension.

Corrected transcripts were sent to the colleges involved, but the schools weren’t told about the burglary or falsification of records. The reason? “The students were under a lot of pressure and made a mistake,” the superintendent said. “But we don’t want to ruin their lives. They learned their lesson.”

They learned a lesson all right. They learned that there’s little downside to doing whatever it takes to get what you want, even committing a felony. They learned that even if you get caught, you probably won't suffer serious consequences.

Come on! Suspending high school seniors for a week is a vacation, not a punishment.

This sort of excessive leniency sends a terrible message to kids about right and wrong. The superintendent then trivialized the act by calling it a “mistake.”

A mathematical error is a mistake. Forgetting someone's birthday is a mistake. Getting into a bad relationship is a mistake.

But breaking into a locked office to alter documents isn’t a mistake. It’s a premeditated act of dishonesty and should be treated as such. If that means the students may suffer long-term impact, so be it. That’s what justice requires and responsibility is about.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:09 AM | Permalink | Comment (40)

One problem with talking about business ethics is that there’s often a wide gap between rhetoric and reality. The reality is that business isn’t nearly as bad as some critics make it out to be or nearly as good as its apologists contend. By the same token, ethics may not be as crucial to success as moralists make it.

Yes, trust has been badly eroded by too much lying and cheating, even by basically decent people. Yet every day, people of character successfully overcome pressures and resist temptations to sacrifice ethics for expediency.

At the same time, well-meaning reformers often oversell the role of ethics in success. Asserting platitudes like “Good ethics is good business” as if it were moral truth makes ethics vulnerable to cynics who are all too anxious to disprove the generality with a host of examples.

The truth is, good ethics sometimes is good business, but sometimes it’s not. It depends on one’s goals and how one defines good business. Sometimes, good ethics can end in bankruptcy. Of course, so can bad ethics.

A fairer statement is that good ethics can be a powerful business asset. Good things tend to happen to companies and individuals that consistently do the right thing, and bad things tend to happen to those that occasionally do the wrong thing.

The crucial point is that the moral obligation to live according to ethical principles isn’t dependent on whether it’s advantageous. People of character do the right thing in the pursuit of virtue, not self-interest.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:24 AM | Permalink | Comment (0)

An angry woman once approached me after a speech to tell me off. “It’s easy for you to talk about my responsibility to speak out or object to waste or wrongdoing,” she said, “but I’m a single mother and my highest duty is to keep my job. If that means occasionally looking the other way, so be it. You have no business trying to make me feel guilty for putting my family first.”

As the father of five, her criticism hit hard, and it took me a while to sort it through. I think we have to be careful about using our families as an excuse for choices that diminish our integrity. Financial security is surely important, but so is the moral example we set for our children and the foundation we give them to build their lives on.

Suppose you’re faced with a difficult choice at work where you think you may be fired if you do what’s right. Which is the better gift to your family: 1) to compromise your principles and send the message that you can’t always afford to be ethical, or 2) to show that you can always afford ethics, that whatever happens you can make it, and that in this family, character matters and no job is worth dishonor?

Sometimes the dues we pay to maintain integrity are high, but the ultimate cost of moral compromise is much higher. In fact, the more an act of honor costs, the more it’s worth. Every example of moral courage contributes to a lasting legacy that our children can and will be proud of all their lives. Don’t give that up for the short-term benefits of security.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:16 AM | Permalink | Comment (6)

In every organization I work with, people talk freely and frequently about the importance of trust as a crucial business asset. No one seems to doubt how important it is to business or personal relationships, and everyone seems aware of the tremendous costs of distrust.

It’s really simple: To be trusted, one has to be perceived as being trustworthy. That means being scrupulously honest even on little things, and especially when one may have to pay a high price. Trustworthiness is more than telling the truth. It requires conveying the truth. Deception through clever wording or half-truths is essentially dishonest.

Individuals and companies that care about building and retaining trust don’t rely on legalistic loopholes or take refuge in the fact that "you never asked." People worthy of our trust are forthright and candid as well as truthful. They tell us what they know we want to know, even if it’s not in their self-interest. Thus, being trustworthy involves a complex trio of concepts: truthfulness, nondeception, and candor, all aspects of honesty.

It also requires integrity, promise-keeping, and loyalty. We trust people who put principles above profit and have the courage of their convictions. We don’t trust those who look for and find exceptions and special circumstances that justify dishonesty.

Trust isn’t attained by wishing and wanting. It must be earned by actions. And after it has been earned, it must be continually protected. Remember, even a little lie can raise the question: "What else have you lied to me about?"

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comment (1)

Tony and Tracy were newlyweds when they went to a friend’s wedding. Tony drank too much, and when a seductive former girlfriend kissed him on the lips, he kissed her back inappropriately. Tracy was furious.

Yet in the following months, she repeatedly referred to the incident. Tony protested. “Look, I admitted I was wrong. I’ve done everything I could to make amends. You said you’d forgiven me. Why do you keep rubbing my nose in it?”

Tracy said, “I have forgiven you, but I haven’t forgotten what you did. And I don’t want you to forget it either.”

Clearly, Tracy hadn’t forgiven Tony and was using his indiscretion as power over him.

True forgiveness involves more than saying the words. It involves letting go in a way that frees both parties from grudges and guilt. The phrase “forgive and forget” is often used because without forgetting, there is no true forgiveness.

Forgetting doesn’t mean we don’t remember an incident; it means we voluntarily let go of our right to punish an offender and fully and unconditionally release the wrongdoer from further penalty. In effect, we cancel the moral debt.

When a relationship has been damaged by a hurtful act, the victim can choose to hold on to righteous anger and pain or let them go so the wound can heal and the relationship can flourish. In the end, holding on to a grudge could damage Tracy’s marriage more than Tony’s indecent kiss.

Forgiveness doesn’t come naturally and it isn’t easy, but it’s both generous and wise.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:47 AM | Permalink | Comment (4)

My mother died of cancer when I was 18. The disease was detected a year earlier during her pregnancy with her sixth child. On the day she delivered, both breasts were removed.

During her illness, our household became increasingly gloomy. It’s hard to watch someone you love get sicker and sicker. But my mom was always a pleasure to be with, and she struggled to remain so despite her deteriorating condition. She’d joke, tell stories of better times, and laugh in an effort to cheer us up. But it never worked. We hung onto our despair as if we had to be visibly miserable to prove we loved her.

I didn’t appreciate then how difficult it must have been for her. In such situations, cheerfulness is neither natural nor easy. It requires a willful act of selfless courage. She was sick, but she wanted us to feel better.

In my lifetime I’ve known only a few people like my mom, people so strong and caring that, for our sake as well as their own, they refuse to surrender to grief or fear. Rather than indulge themselves in self-pity or bask in the sympathy of others, they make a conscious choice to spread good cheer rather than gloom.

I now realize that our choice to spend our last months with my mom in a constant state of solemn sadness was unkind. She hated seeing us unhappy, and she felt guilty.

I wish we had been strong enough and wise enough to be more cheerful. I wish we had spent every moment with her aggressively enjoying the time we had. I wish we had thought more about her happiness than our unhappiness.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:12 AM | Permalink | Comment (8)

Earth Day is about promoting greater awareness of environmental issues and committing ourselves to address them more than we have been. On this special day, we present a special collection of sentiments, opinions, and quotes to stimulate your thinking and provoke your comments.

Earth Day is about promoting greater awareness of environmental issues and committing ourselves to address them more than we have been. On this special day, we present the following sentiments, opinions, and quotes to stimulate your thinking and provoke your comments. Please share your views in the blog below.

“We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors. We borrow it from our children.”
– Native American proverb

“Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.”
– Chief Seattle, leader of the Suquamish and Duwamish tribes

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.”
– John Muir, naturalist

“I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority.”
– E.B. White, writer

“Take nothing but pictures.
Leave nothing but footprints.
Kill nothing but time.”
– Motto of the Baltimore Grotto, a caving society

“Oh beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,
For strip-mined mountain’s majesty above the asphalt plain.
America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,
And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.”
– George Carlin, comedian

“There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more.”
–Lord Byron, poet

“There is hope, if people will begin to awaken that spiritual part of themselves, that heartfelt knowledge that we are caretakers of this planet.”
– Brooke “Medicine Eagle” Edwards, author

“And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.”
– William Shakespeare, playwright

“Only when the last tree has died and the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realize we cannot eat money.”
– Cree Indian proverb

* * *

Earth Day is the brainchild of former Senator Gaylord Nelson (D-Wis.) who believed he could raise awareness and change attitudes about important environmental issues through education. Before he died in 2005, he wrote an essay about Earth Day, from which these excerpts were taken:

The idea for Earth Day evolved over a period of seven years starting in 1962. For several years, it had been troubling me that the state of our environment was a non-issue in the politics of the country….The idea was for President Kennedy to give visibility to this issue by going on a five-day, eleven-state conservation tour in September 1963. For many reasons, the tour did not succeed in putting the issue onto the national political agenda.

Six years would pass before the idea that became Earth Day occurred to me while on a conservation speaking tour out West. At the time, anti-Vietnam War demonstrations had spread to college campuses. Suddenly, the idea occurred to me – why not organize a huge grassroots protest over what was happening to our environment?

I announced that in the spring of 1970 there would be a nationwide grassroots demonstration on behalf of the environment and invited everyone to participate. The wire services carried the story from coast to coast. The response was electric. Telegrams, letters, and telephone inquiries poured in from all across the country. The American people finally had a forum to express its concern about what was happening to the land, rivers, lakes, and air.

It was obvious that we were headed for a spectacular success on Earth Day. It was also obvious that grassroots activities had ballooned beyond the capacity of my office staff. Three months before Earth Day, John Gardner, founder of Common Cause, provided temporary space for a Washington, D.C. headquarters. I staffed it with college students and selected Denis Hayes as coordinator of activities.

Earth Day worked because of the spontaneous response at the grassroots level. We had neither the time nor resources to organize 20 million demonstrators and the thousands of schools and local communities that participated. That was the remarkable thing about Earth Day. It organized itself.

* * *

The Earth Day Network provides these powerful statements and observations regarding environmental issues:

Earth Day 1970 achieved a rare political alignment, enlisting support from Republicans and Democrats, rich and poor, city slickers and farmers, tycoons and labor leaders. The first Earth Day led to the creation of the Environmental Protection Agency and the passage of the Clean Air, Clean Water, and Endangered Species acts.

For his role as Earth Day founder, Senator Gaylord Nelson was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom – the highest honor given to civilians.

In 1990, Earth Day went global, mobilizing 200 million people in 141 countries and lifting the status of environmental issues onto the world stage. It gave a huge boost to recycling efforts worldwide and helped pave the way for the 1992 United Nations Earth Summit in Rio de Janeiro.

As the millennium approached, the campaign focused on global warming and clean energy. Earth Day 2000 combined the big-picture feistiness of the first Earth Day with the international grassroots activism of Earth Day 1990. Plus it had the Internet to link activists around the world. By the time April 22 rolled around, 5,000 environmental groups around the world were on board, reaching out to hundreds of millions of people in a record 184 countries including hundreds of thousands on the National Mall in Washington, D.C.

Learn more about this year’s activities at Earth Day 2010.

* * *

Robert James Bidinotto provides this provocative counterpoint:

Most people think of themselves as environmentalists. But by that term, they mean something far different – and far more innocent – than do the most prominent philosophers, founders, and leaders of the modern environmentalist movement.

Typically, the person who calls himself an environmentalist is really just a nature-loving conservationist. Appreciating the earth’s natural beauty and bounty, he is understandably concerned about trash, noise, pollution, and poisons. Still, he sees the earth and its bounty as resources for intelligent human use, development, and enjoyment. At root, then, his concern for the earth is human-centered: He believes this is our environment to be used by people to enhance their lives, well-being, and happiness.

But the leaders of the organized environmentalist movement have a very different attitude and agenda.

Their premise is that human activities to develop natural resources constitute a desecration of nature – that, in fact, nature exists for its own sake, not for human use and enjoyment. By their theory of ecology, they see man not as the crowning glory of nature, nor even as just another part of the web of life, but rather as a blight upon the earth, as the enemy of the natural world. And they see man’s works as a growing menace to all that exists.

Their basic agenda, therefore, is to stop the assault and onslaught of human activity: to place every possible impediment to man’s further development of the earth and its resources. They pursue this anti-human agenda tirelessly and consistently. Their fanatical activities have led not just to enormously increased financial burdens on us all but – demonstrably – even to the deaths of thousands of men, women, and children worldwide.

And the ugliest aspect of all this is that while causing so much harm, environmentalists posture – and are generally accepted – as idealists.

I’m not just talking about so-called extremists within the movement: I’m talking about its mainstream organizations, leaders, and spokesmen. Their public faces of moderation mask private attitudes and goals that are radically, irreconcilably opposed to America’s legacy of individualism and to the requirements of human life on earth.

My argument – unlike that of other critics and opponents of environmentalism – isn’t merely that environmentalism rests on shoddy economic thinking or junk science. My argument is that it rests on junk philosophy.

Another anti-environmentalist website can be found here.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 12:28 PM | Permalink | Comment (8)

Are there people in your life who regularly cause you to feel bad about yourself?

Most of us care what others think of us, so knowing that someone doesn’t like or approve of the judgments we make or how we look can be hurtful. And when we’re judged by someone whose approval we crave such as a parent, spouse, teacher, or boss, the criticism can cause intense distress and damage self-esteem.

Harsh or relentless disparagement from people who love us, often clothed as caring advice or helpful prodding, can be particularly toxic.

It’s helpful to realize that it’s one thing to feel bad when someone doesn’t approve of us; it’s quite another to allow their disapproval to shape our self-image.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” She was absolutely right. Negative comments about our lives are opinions, not facts.

How we feel, however, is a fact, and an important one at that. Thus, it’s rational and healthy to nurture relationships that bring out the best in us and to cut off or distance ourselves from those that bring us down.

There are, however two strategies worth trying before you limit or eliminate contact with critical people whom you care about.

Try to fix the relationship by respectfully confronting the negative influences in your life. Don’t attack them for hurting you, just explain how you feel when they criticize you and see if they care about you enough to modify their conduct.

If that doesn’t work, try to build immunity to their negativity. Think of the hurtful comments of your incorrigible critic as irrational ravings – and ignore them.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 12:18 PM | Permalink | Comment (3)

Conflicting views of rights and responsibilities are unavoidable, but passionate disagreement and debate should strengthen rather than undermine our national commitment to peacefully and respectfully resolving differences. It doesn't serve us well when our most cherished principles are assaulted under the banner of what some call a "cultural war."

The process of refining our definition of liberty in a manner that balances personal freedoms against various perspectives of a good society is continuous and endless. Every decade has seen momentous conflicts involving civil and religious rights, including prohibition, polygamy, pornography, capital punishment, euthanasia, abortion, and homosexuality. In each case, court decisions pleased some and infuriated others.

I disagree with many of the Supreme Court's majority decisions. Still, it's unwise and unpatriotic to attack the court system and vilify judges when disagreeing with a judgment. And it's arrogant to equate the intensity of one's convictions with the likelihood that one is right.

The issues that reach the Supreme Court are important. But it's vastly more important that we have and support a method of peacefully and thoughtfully resolving ideological rifts that threaten our ability to live together in respectful peace.

If we lose confidence in the wisdom or integrity of the judicial process and try to rig it so we'll get the answers we want, we'll all someday find ourselves on the other side of ideological tyranny.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 11:17 AM | Permalink | Comment (2)

Do you think you’re any wiser today than you were five years ago? Do you think you’ll be wiser still in another five years? I hope the answer to both questions is an emphatic yes. One of the benefits of growing older is getting better. And we get better by learning.

For starters, I’ve learned that as long as I’m willing to learn, I can learn and the fact that I’m wiser today doesn’t mean I was foolish or incompetent before. You don’t have to be sick to get better.

I’ve learned that no matter how old I am, my life and character are works in process and that there will always be a gap between who I am and who I want to be.

I’ve learned that it’s easy to mask moral compromises with rationalizations and that my character is revealed not by my words or intentions but by my willingness to do the right thing even when it costs more than I want to pay.

I’ve learned that my character is more important than my competence and that being significant is more important than being successful.

I’ve learned that I often judge myself by my good intentions but that I’ll be judged by my last worst act.

I’ve learned that the surest road to happiness is good relationships and that striving to be a good person is the surest road to good relationships.

Finally, I’ve learned that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional and that it’s not what happens to me that matters most but what happens in me.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:36 AM | Permalink | Comment (2)

When she was 6, my daughter Carissa asked, “Do dumb people think they’re smart?” Answering her own question, she added, “They probably do because they’re dumb.”

Self-interest has a powerful tendency to disable our objectivity and befuddle our commitment to live up to moral principles.

The higher the stakes, the more likely it is that we’ll persuade ourselves that what we want to do, or what we’ve already done, is justified. When our financial or physical security is at stake, even the best of us are vulnerable to reason-crippling self-delusion that allows us to defend our positions with self-righteous ferocity – as if the mere intensity of our convictions makes them more valid.

One way to fortify our integrity is to be on the lookout for our tendency to rationalize and to remember that we don’t have a moral right to get what we want. Necessity isn’t a fact; it’s an interpretation.

Living an ethical life isn’t easy. It requires us to do the right thing even when it costs more than we want to pay.

Perhaps the best antidote to rationalization sickness is to rigorously and faithfully follow the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:43 AM | Permalink | Comment (12)

One of the most insightful and useful books I’ve ever read is a small volume by Harold Kushner called Living a Life That Matters.

Today, I want to suggest ways of getting the most out of books, at least nonfiction books, which is about all I read.

Reading shouldn’t be a passive experience. If you allow yourself to be absorbed in the interaction of the author’s thoughts and your reactions, it’s like a great conversation. I know lots of people think it’s a sin to mark up a book; I think it’s a waste to leave it untouched.

I reread complex, clever, and profound passages several times. I underline them, make notes in the margin, fold back pages, do whatever I can to highlight the parts I found useful or inspirational so I can find them again.

When a passage stimulates thoughts, I immediately write them in the margins or on the blank pages in the front or back of the book. A really good book has me thinking as much as reading, and I never read a book in one sitting. When I restart the book, I revisit my notes like they were old friends.

Both during and after the book I try to communicate what I’ve learned or the new ideas generated in conversations, letters, and even these commentaries. New insights are a great gift, and I think we should share them. I liked Kushner’s book so much that I bought 30 copies and gave them as gifts.

While writing this piece, I realized that the way I approach books is also a decent way to approach life: Live it fully and completely at the time, and live it by remembering it and sharing it.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:39 AM | Permalink | Comment (2)

A listener once sent me a poem with an unknown source called “The Garden.” I liked the idea so I rewrote it. Here’s my version of a lifetime garden to nourish your life:

First, plant six rows of squash:
1. Squash dishonesty in all its forms.
2. Squash prejudice.
3. Squash fear.
4. Squash negativism.
5. Squash gossip.
6. Squash apathy.

Then plant five rows of lettuce:
1. Lettuce be kind.
2. Lettuce respect each other.
3. Lettuce be grateful.
4. Lettuce be patient.
5. Lettuce be faithful to our beliefs.

Add four rows of turnips:
1. Turnip to do your share.
2. Turnip to vote.
3. Turnip to help others.
4. Turnip to worship.

For spice, plant three rows of thyme:
1. Thyme to teach and play with your children.
2. Thyme to learn and grow wise.
3. Thyme to think about who you are and why you’re here.

Finally, finish off the garden with two rows of peas:
1. Peas of mind.
2. Peas in your relationships.

It may be corny, but if you care for this garden, it will produce all you need to live a happy and rewarding life.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:32 AM | Permalink | Comment (2)

After a workshop, Paul said he still has 10-year-old scars from the time he quit a good job rather than lie. When his boss asked him to issue a press release containing false statements, he refused, putting his employee badge on the table.

His boss calmly handed the badge back to him saying, “Think this over. Why throw away a good job and a promising career?”

Paul gave the badge back and walked out. He was so frustrated and frightened that he had to find a private place to cry. What’s worse, his act of moral courage was a meaningless waste. Someone else issued the press release, and his boss’s career flourished.

“It took me years to find a job as good as that one, and my family suffered,” he confided. “So what good did my integrity do for anyone?”

Paul was looking for validation of his principled stance in the wrong place. We exercise integrity not to get what we want but to be what we want.

Integrity isn’t about winning; it’s about staying whole and being worthy of self-respect and the esteem of loved ones. It's about being honorable, not as a success strategy but as a life choice. Although Paul suffered for a time because of his moral courage, he would have suffered far worse had he stayed and betrayed his values.

While he didn’t appreciate it at the time, Paul preserved for himself and his family something far more valuable than his job – his honor. And it’s no accident that he now has a better job with no pressures to cheat or lie.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:51 AM | Permalink | Comment (7)

What does sex have to do with ethics? Judging by the popular image conveyed on TV from sitcoms and reality shows, not much. We’re led to believe that extramarital sex is primarily a recreational activity, no more personal or significant than going to a baseball game.

But no matter how modern one tries to be, this is absolute nonsense. Whether it’s what we used to call “petting” or “going all the way,” people of conscience cannot ignore the inescapable ethical implications of such conduct – implications that go well beyond social taboos and religious views about chastity and fidelity.

The reality is, few human actions have a greater potential to affect others’ lives than sex. The ethical issues involved in unwanted pregnancy and the possibility of spreading or contracting diseases are too large and obvious for anyone to deny. Yet there’s an even greater danger that casual sex will cause one or both parties severe emotional distress, especially if it’s accompanied by dishonest, disrespectful, disloyal, exploitive, irresponsible, cruel, or callous behavior.

Despite pseudo-sophisticated denials, only shallow and self-absorbed people can engage in sex without putting their own or others’ feelings at risk. Even with good intentions, reputations can be injured, self-image can be lowered, expectations about healthy stable relations can be altered, and intense feelings of rejection, betrayal, inadequacy, and jealousy can be generated.

Given the range of physical, emotional, social, and spiritual consequences of sex, people of character take it seriously. They think beyond the moment and care about the person they’re with. They’re kind, and above all, responsible.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:32 AM | Permalink | Comment (6)

As Greg paces the floor, waiting for his 17-year-old daughter Sandy to return from a school event, he feels two conflicting emotions: fear and anger. Fear that something terrible has happened to her. Anger because he thinks his fear is probably unfounded and Sandy is not hurt, simply irresponsible.

Finally, Sandy calls. She’s all right. She just lost track of time. Greg’s fear disappears, but his anger grows.

The love that motivated his worry is overwhelmed by a growing sense of outrage. He begins to rehearse what he will say and what punishment he will inflict. Unless he intercepts his anger, it can easily turn to rage, an emotion likely to produce foolishly impulsive conduct that’s likely to alienate Sandy and widen the rift between them.

Here’s the character challenge: Can Greg stop his runaway train of anger long enough to think about his objectives? His immediate goal is to vent his fury and frustration and teach Sandy a lesson. His long-term goals are to strengthen — not weaken — his relationship with his daughter and to help her become more responsible and respectful.

If Greg stops and thinks about his broader goals, he will want to turn this event into a positive teaching moment. To do that, he will have to choose his words and tone carefully.

Good managers don’t yell at or demean employees because it would be ineffective and unethical. Parents have no less of a duty to be tactful and respectful when dealing with their children.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:49 AM | Permalink | Comment (4)

When we think about character, we tend to envision really big things like taking heavy risks, committing bold acts of integrity, being grandly generous, or making tough sacrifices.

Such noble choices indicate character, but for the most part, our integrity is revealed in much smaller events like apologizing when we’re wrong, giving to causes we believe in, being honest when it may be embarrassing, or returning shopping carts.

One of my favorite stories is about a father who asked his son to return a cart they had just used. The son protested, “C’mon, Dad. There are carts all over. No one returns them. That’s why they hire people to collect them.”

After a short argument, mom chimed in, “For heaven's sake, it’s no big deal. Let’s go.”

Dad was about to surrender when he saw an elderly couple walking together to return their cart.

He said, “Son, there are two kinds of people in this world: those who put their carts away and those who don’t. We’re the kind who return theirs. Now go return the cart.”

Which kind are you?

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:44 AM | Permalink | Comment (17)

More often than we like, most of us face choices that can have serious and lasting impact on our lives. Do we go along with the crowd? Do we tell someone off, quit a job, or end a relationship? Unfortunately, these decisions are not preceded by a drum roll warning us that the stakes are high. Even worse, we often don’t have a lot of time to figure out what to do.

It’s no surprise that most bad decisions – the ones that mess up our lives – are made impulsively or without sufficient reflection.

Ancient proverbs warn us to “Count to ten when you’re angry” or “Think ahead.” But anger and lack of preplanning are only two factors that can impede excellent decision-making. Fatigue, fear, frustration, stress, impatience, and emotions also create obstacles to wise choices.

Just as we learned to look both ways before we cross the street, we can learn to analyze every important decision-making situation to allow us to arrive at conclusions that are both effective and ethical.

Each decision, therefore, should start with a stop – a forced moment of reflection to help us clarify our goal, evaluate the completeness and credibility of our information, and devise an alternate strategy, if necessary, to achieve the best possible result. Stopping also allows us to muster our moral willpower to overcome temptations and emotions that could lead to a rash, foolish, or ill-considered decision.

While it’s great to have a day or two to sleep on a problem, or even a few hours, many situations don’t afford us that luxury. But a pause of even a few seconds can often be enough.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you to think ahead because character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:33 AM | Permalink | Comment (3)

I want my kids to be smart and successful, but I also want them to be good. I want them to be the kind of people other parents would like to see their kids marry. I also want them to make sound, value-based decisions that will help them be safe and happy.

So, like most parents, I spend lots time trying to instill in them virtues like honesty, respect, responsibility, fairness, and kindness.

But building character is more complicated than teaching math or manners. It involves the heart as well as the head. The goal is to make good thoughts and conduct a matter of habit. I want my children to know what’s good, want what’s good, and do what’s good.

Effective character-building is captured in the acronym T.E.A.M. – teach, enforce, advocate, and model.

We teach character by promoting and developing the values and ethical virtues that make up a good person – trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring, and citizenship. We need to be sure kids understand what each of these traits looks like.

We entrench these values by enforcing them, by backing up our rhetoric with appropriate consequences. What you allow, you encourage.

Advocating values means passionately and relentlessly stating our commitment to good character so our children have no doubt what we want for them and expect from them.

Finally, and most crucial, we must teach positive values by example, modeling the virtues we want to see in our children. We teach values by the way we deal with pressures, frustrations, fatigue, and other everyday actions, especially what we say and do when we think no one’s looking.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:39 AM | Permalink | Comment (4)

You’ve got to love the Butler University story, the Cinderella team that fell only a few inches short of winning the 2010 NCAA national basketball championship against Duke, a perennial high achiever during March Madness.

Maybe David and Goliath is a better metaphor.

Butler’s coach Brad Stevens, 33, was only 3 years old when Duke’s Mike Krzyzewski began his coaching career. Hardly anyone knew Brad Stevens’s name before the tournament while Krzyzewski has been famous for decades. Stevens makes $350,000 per year (still more than the university’s president), but that’s only a fourth of what Coach K earns.

What I really love is that his success is based on intelligence, determination, and good character. Without any credentials to speak of, he left an early corporate job to start a career as a coach.

The son of a physician and a college professor, he was a solid but unspectacular player at DePauw University where he was a three-time Academic All-American nominee. Like Mike Krzyzewski’s Duke team, his players have a graduation rate in excess of 90 percent.

This is significant in lieu of Secretary of Education Arne Duncan’s recent lambasting of the NCAA for the fact that 25 percent of teams in the 2009 tournament graduated fewer than 40 percent of their players. “If you can’t graduate two out of five of your players,” he declared at the annual NCAA convention, “what are they doing at your university?”

Stevens’s calm, positive coaching style reminds many of another Indiana-born coach, John Wooden.

This season was no flash in the pan, though. In fact, Stevens has begun to accumulate one of the most successful coaching records in college basketball, winning 86 percent of the 104 games he’s coached at Butler.

Kudos to Coach Stevens for proving that character counts. And kudos to the whole Butler team for a great game and a great season.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 4:50 PM | Permalink | Comment (2)

According to Henry David Thoreau, a philosopher is a person who seeks to understand and solve the most serious problems of life, not only theoretically, but practically. A true philosopher, Thoreau added, is so committed to wisdom that he seeks to live wisely and so lives a life of simplicity, independence, magnanimity, and trust.

By this definition, John Wooden, my favorite coach and teacher, is every inch a great American philosopher. Here are just a few of his powerful insights:

On Perfection: “Perfection is an impossibility, but striving for perfection is not. Do the best you can. That is what counts.”

On Management: “You’ll get better cooperation and results if you are sincerely interested in people’s families and interests, not simply in how they do their job.”

On Learning: “Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.”

On Success: “You must be interested in finding the best way, not in having your own way.”

On Trust: “You will be hurt occasionally if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough.”

On Joy: “Mix idealism with realism and add hard work. This will often bring much more than you could ever hope for.”

On Winning: “If you prepare properly, you may be outscored but you will never lose. You always win when you make the full effort to do the best of which you’re capable.”

You can read more in Be Quick – But Don’t Hurry with Andrew Hill and Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court with Steve Jamison.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:35 AM | Permalink | Comment (1)

Like ’em or hate ’em, sports are a major cultural phenomenon that reflects and shapes our national values.

The way sports are played and the way participants and spectators react reveals the best and worst of human nature.

At their best, sports provide an ennobling metaphor for life, teaching us to strive and struggle with passion and integrity, to pursue victory with honor.

We’re constantly exposed to instances where an intense win-at-any-cost mentality has resulted in awful behavior and plentiful examples of premier athletes with shabby character.

The fact is, however, that misconduct by coaches, parents, and players – while far too common – is still the exception, not the norm. Involvement in sports is overall and overwhelmingly a positive character-building experience for most participants.

A recent survey of 3,700 coaches and 1,400 athletes by the Josephson Institute of Ethics demonstrates that the vast majority of coaches and athletes have healthy and ethical attitudes about sports.

Good coaches are, first and foremost, teachers concerned with much more than athletic prowess. They seek to enhance the mental, social, and moral development of athletes and instill positive life skills to help them become personally successful and socially responsible.

The good news is that most coaches are good coaches. Eighty-three percent of athletes said their coach sets a good example for ethics and character, 73 percent said their coach is more concerned with building character than winning, and 98 percent of coaches said they would rather be remembered for helping their athletes become better people than for winning games or championships.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

You may be interested in the statement of principles underlying the Institute’s Pursuing Victory With Honor sportsmanship initiative. Learn more here.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:27 AM | Permalink | Comment (2)

What do you think? In today’s society, does a person have to lie or cheat at least occasionally to succeed?

The question isn’t whether occasional liars and cheats sometimes get away with dishonesty; we all have to agree with this. The question is whether you believe people can succeed if they're not willing to lie or cheat.

Those who believe lying and cheating have become necessities are cynics. A recent study of more than 10,000 people by the Josephson Institute of Ethics shows that the younger you are, the more likely you are to be cynical. This is important because cynics, regardless of their age, are far more likely to lie and cheat in both their personal and work lives (see below).

The correlation between cynicism and age is striking. Only 11% of people over 40 are cynics compared to 47% of youngsters 17 and under and 35% of those 18 to 24 (19% of those 25 to 40 are cynics).

This turns out to be a big deal because cynicism is a powerful predictor of conduct. People who believe lying and cheating are a necessary part of success are nearly four times as likely to deceive their boss (31% v. 8%), three times more likely to inflate an insurance (6% vs. 2%) or expense claim (13% v. 4%), or lie to a customer (22% vs. 7%). They are also one-and-a half-times more likely to cheat on their taxes (20% vs. 13%).

Cynicism is a toxic condition, but the antidote isn’t just hopeful optimism; it’s hard truth.

Sometimes cheaters do prosper and sometimes it’s harder to succeed with integrity, but the latter is always possible.

In fact, lots of honest people are highly successful. I’ll bet if you try you can name a few.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:33 AM | Permalink | Comment (4)