I think you are right. If we clearly and continually state our views, children will consider them. Right or wrong and one day we will come to see the results. As a parent, we need to consider this.

As a Christian parent, I used to tell my kids (young adults now) how they were to live their life according to the Bible (which is the right thing to say), but I found out that it's the life we live as parents that our kids will learn more from.

My kids now tell me, "Thanks, Dad. You showed me how to live my life."

That's because I had to learn how to live by faith.

I am a marriage and family therapist intern and have taught parenting classes for three years and run children's groups. Even with my adult clients, the most important issue we talk about is boundaries. Loose or porous boundaries seem to create the most havoc, and too rigid boundaries are also a problem, especially if accompanied by abuse.

Our society, with its emphasis on sex, drugs, and rock and roll (or hip-hop), make it difficult to be a parent with boundaries. My criterion is risk management - how much danger am I exposing my child to? If I let her dress like a hooker, that's too much danger. If I let her dye the tips of her hair blue, I may not like it but that's not dangerous. It's all about choosing your battles so you win the war for their character.

Well said. We raised our two children with this phrase lived out before them: "Rules without relationship fosters rebellion." If you say you love your kids, then you will back it up with boundaries. Our children always knew the consequences that would be applied if they chose to cross the line.

I think you are absolutely right. I would also like you to write more to parents. I think many people really need lucid, healthy eye-openers like the ones you provide. I believe too many parents have no idea what our children are being exposed to. Many don't even question their dance schools and the songs they choose, with putrid lyrics and horrendous messages. The children listen to them, the dance teachers choose them for the recitals because the chidren like them and want to dance to them. The parents notice something is not quite right, but nobody says or does anything. People like me, when I voice my concerns and express my opposition, are looked down on like "old-fashioned," "moralist," to say the least. I also think parents need to wake up and stop being in denial regarding what is going on with video games, music videos, and the degrading messages in some songs. Parents' authority is being undermined, and the children are being exposed to toxic material. It is sad. Very sad.

Most parents I talk with still are involved and talk a good game. But the truth of the matter is our society as we know it is missing some vital factors: discipline and consequences. Parents today get tired and often just give up because so many of them are trying to do it alone and don't have the support of others to prop them up. When they want to crawl into a hole and just be left alone, no one is there to stand in the gap. It is a tough job and many check out and therefore miss the great opportunity to affect someone's life in a profound way. Unfortunately, the consequence of these actions affects us all by a lack of respect for elders, no work ethic, crime, violence, and youth with a sense of entitlement. It is going to get a lot worse before it gets better, I am afraid.

We've raised two sons, and I totally agree with Eric: children learn most what is modeled by their parents. Our older son has a wife a son of his own now, and he has told my husband and me that he appreciates seeing how we interacted with one another because it modeled for him the proper way to love and care for his family.