Most of us at one time have lied to get out of trouble. From childhood denials (“It wasn’t me”) to adult fabrications (“The check’s in the mail”), what seem like harmless falsehoods easily fall off our tongues.

The natural tendency to avoid discomfort makes our lives more difficult in other ways as well. Some people damage or endanger their most important relationships at home or at work by failing to acknowledge and deal with small problems that then fester into serious ones.

Here’s a useful piece of advice: When you’re in a hole, stop digging. Whether your problems are of your own making or not, whether you know how to resolve them or not, the first step is to stop making things worse. Stop making excuses. Stop blaming others. Stop ignoring your strong and persistent feelings. And stop dismissing and discounting what others tell you about their needs and feelings.

Once we stop digging, we can work on getting out of the hole. It may take self-reflection, self-restraint, or willpower. Perhaps we have to adjust our schedules or simply be more attentive and considerate. Sometimes the best thing to do is ask for help so someone will throw us a rope.

Like so many aspects of character, this is often easier said than done. But when we manage our lives thoughtfully and with integrity, things do get better.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:27 AM | Permalink | Comment (0)

If we interviewed 100 happy people, I think the most prominent common denominator would be good relationships. Despite the widespread promotion of materialism and vanity in our culture, wealth and beauty are not enough to produce happiness. In fact, they’re not even necessary. What’s more, bad relationships – at work, at home, or among friends – are a surefire source of anguish and heartache.

For most of us, the connections that most strongly influence our level of happiness are family bonds. And the most powerful of all are at the inner core of family, especially parent-child relationships.

No matter what your age, your kinship with your parents will always have a unique capacity to generate comfort or pain. Many children have ambivalent feelings about their folks. Yet most crave their approval, respect, and love. Parents have a similar need.

If you’re a parent, resolve to make more consistent and conscientious efforts to make your children feel appreciated. If you want to make their lives and yours happier, be careful not to demean or diminish their achievements, and avoid expressions of disappointment. Tell your child you’re proud to have him or her as a son or daughter.

And if you still can, give your parents pleasure by showing them you love them, not only for what they did for you as a child but for who they are now. Talk to them frequently and talk of meaningful things. Ask their advice, and don’t roll your eyes in disdain if you disagree with it. One of the best ways to express your love is through respect.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:32 AM | Permalink | Comment (5)

A man and his companion lost their way in a forest. The companion despaired, but the man said maybe some good would come of it. They came upon a stranger who needed the man’s help. The stranger turned out to be a prince who gave the man a beautiful horse.

His neighbors praised his good luck and said, “How blessed you are to have such a magnificent animal.”

The man said, “Who’s to say whether this is a blessing or a curse?”

The next day the horse ran away, and the neighbors said, “How horrible that you were cursed with the loss of your horse.”

The man replied, “Who’s to say whether this is a curse or a blessing? Perhaps some good will come of this.”

The next day the horse returned leading five wild horses. “You were right!” his neighbors exclaimed. “The curse was a blessing in disguise. Now you’re blessed with six horses.”

The man replied, “Perhaps, but who’s to say whether this is a blessing or a curse?”

The next day his only son tried to ride one of the wild horses. He was thrown to the ground and broke his leg. The neighbors said, “How wise you were. Your blessing really was a curse.”

The man replied, “There may be good yet. Who’s to say whether this is a curse or a blessing?”

The next day soldiers came through the village and took every able-bodied boy to fight in a war where it was almost certain all would be killed. Because the man’s son was injured, the boy was the only one not taken. “How blessed are you to keep your son!” the neighbors said.

The man replied, “Who’s to say? I don’t know whether there’s a curse in every blessing, but I am sure there’s a blessing in every curse.”

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:47 AM | Permalink | Comment (8)

In the 1964 Winter Olympics in Innsbruck, Austria, six-time medalist Eugenio Monti from Italy was favored to win the gold medal in the bobsledding pair event. After his team’s last run, it looked like they were going to make it.

The British team, led by Tony Nash Jr., still had a chance, but before their final run, Nash discovered a critical axle bolt had broken on their sled. They were done.

Without hesitation, Monti removed the bolt from his sled and rushed it up to Nash’s team. They were able to continue, and their run was so strong they won the gold medal.

The Italian press viciously criticized Monti for giving up the gold, but he was steadfast. “Nash didn’t win because I gave him the bolt,” he said. “He won because he had the fastest run.”

Olympic swimming medalist John Naber says a true sportsman, one who believes in the Olympic ideal, not only wants to win, he wants to win against his best opponent on his best day. A true sportsman is not elated, but disappointed, when top competitors are injured or disqualified.

Monti won the gold medal at the next Winter Olympics, but it was his willingness to lose that earned him a prominent place in Olympic history. His act represents sportsmanship at its best: the pursuit of victory with zeal and passion, recognizing that there’s no true victory without honor.

Today, with so many teams and athletes willing to cheat or behave badly to win, we need reminders of the noble potential of sports. Parents and coaches should teach youngsters that the real glory of sport is in the striving, not the winning.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:48 AM | Permalink | Comment (7)

I’ve talked before about the Olympic ideals upon which the modern movement was founded. Over the years, new words and symbols were made part of Olympism to reinforce those ideals.

One of them is the Olympic Motto: citius, altius, fortius (faster, higher, stronger). Note that it’s not “fastest, highest, strongest” because the Olympic ideal encourages athletes to view success in terms of effort, the constant striving for improvement and the achievement of one’s personal best. Giving one’s best and pursuing victory with honor is a worthwhile goal regardless of the outcome.

The symbolism of the Olympic logo is also important. Each of the five Olympic rings is a different color representing 1) the colors that appeared on all the national flags of the world at the time of its design in 1913, and 2) the five inhabited continents (the Americas are treated as one, and no particular ring is meant to represent any specific continent). The rings are interlaced to represent that the Olympics are universal, bringing athletes from the world together.

The Olympic torch that carries the Olympic flame to the cauldron also has significant meaning. Ancient Greeks believed that fire, given to mankind by Prometheus, has sacred qualities. For many, it represents the spark of humanity, the flame within all of us that makes us human.

The Olympic flame is lit in front of the ruins of the Temple of Hera in Olympia using a parabolic mirror to focus rays of the sun. Emphasizing the inextinguishable nature of man and the linking of all of us, a worldwide relay of runners carrying torches brings the flame to the site of the Games where an honored athlete ignites the cauldron.

Olympic ideals can and should infuse sports and our lives with nobler purpose and deeper meaning.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comment (1)

You don’t have to be cynical to note that none of the modern Olympic Games have consistently lived up to the noble goals of their founder. There’s too much nationalism, commercialism, overemphasis on medal counts, and explosions of pure ego.

But before we despair about the imperfections of this grand effort to promote world peace and fair play, consider the legend of how the games began in 776 B.C.

The story is that a prince named Pelops sought the hand of the daughter of the king who was vain about his chariot-racing skill. The king challenged each of his daughters’ suitors to a race, promising that anyone who beat him could marry his daughter and become heir to his kingdom.

But the stakes were high. If a suitor lost, he would be beheaded, and his head would decorate the palace. That’s a pressure our modern athletes don’t face.

According to the myth, Pelops secretly replaced the bronze linchpins on the king’s chariot with ones made of wax. During the race, the wax melted and the king was thrown to his death. Pelops married the princess and instituted the Olympic Games to celebrate his victory. Not exactly the example of sportsmanship envisioned in the Olympic Creed.

National pride and prestige were always part of the Games, however. The best athletes were heavily recruited and richly rewarded. Cheating and bribery were so common that statues of athletes caught rigging or fixing contests were erected (paid for by the cheaters) on the roadway leading to the stadium to memorialize their shame.

I wonder if we should consider doing that in Washington?

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:50 AM | Permalink | Comment (4)

Legends differ on the exact reason, but it’s pretty certain that the first Olympic Games were conducted in Greece in 776 B.C. Thereafter, they were held every four years (called an Olympiad) for nearly 12 centuries.

During the Games, a temporary global truce was declared so athletes from warring countries could compete. Only male athletes participated, and they competed in the nude. Victors were crowned with wreaths from a sacred olive tree thought to have been planted by Hercules (Heracles) behind the temple of Zeus. They were also given substantial cash rewards.

The games were abolished in 393 A.D. by Emperor Theodosius I who thought they were remnants of pagan worship.

Fifteen hundred years later, in 1894, a Frenchman named Pierre de Coubertin organized the International Olympic Committee (IOC) to revive the tradition. The first modern Olympic Games opened in 1896 in Athens.

De Coubertin had more noble ambitions than his ancient predecessors. He embodied in the founding documents the notion of Olympism as a philosophy of life. His concept was built on core principles including the Greek ideal of the well-rounded person with physical, moral, intellectual, and artistic qualities and the belief that international athletic competition can uplift and inspire the character of the world and generate cross-cultural friendships and understanding as a basis for world peace.

In 1908, he introduced the Olympic Creed that defines the Olympic spirit. To this day, this statement is the guiding star for those who see and want to pursue the ennobling potential of sports: “The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.”

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:34 AM | Permalink | Comment (5)

A man named Jack was rushing home to tell his family about a $1,000 bonus check he’d unexpectedly received.

Before he got to his car, a desperate-looking woman holding a baby that looked quite sick asked him for a few dollars. She said her child was dying of leukemia. Jack reached into his pocket for some loose bills and accidentally pulled out his bonus check.

He looked at the check and then at the baby. Acting spontaneously, he endorsed it to her on the spot. “Use this to do what you can for your baby.”

When he told his family what he’d done, his wife was stone silent and his teenage son ridiculed him.

Deflated, Jack said, “We don’t need the money, and it felt like the right thing to do.”

A week later, his son triumphantly waved a newspaper article in Jack’s face about a woman with a baby who was arrested in the area for scamming people. “This is the lady you gave the money to, isn’t it?" the boy asked.

“Yes,” Jack replied, suddenly beaming with joy.

“What are you smiling about?” his son demanded. “She made a fool out of you.”

“Yes, but there’s something much more important,” he said. “That means the baby’s not dying.”

His son, red-faced with anger declared, “You’re an even bigger fool than I thought.”

After a long, thoughtful pause, Jack’s wife embraced her husband lovingly. “I’m so proud to be married to a man with such a generous heart.”

Who was right, the son or the wife?

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 3:19 PM | Permalink | Comment (28)

Abraham Lincoln is a very special hero of mine, so his birthday, February 12, has always been noteworthy. But 33 years ago, that day took on a life-changing meaning. It was the day I became a father for the first time. My son Justin was born, changing forever my perspective and priorities.

Coming from a large family (nine brothers and sisters), I thought I knew what parenting involved, but until I watched my own child’s birth and held his tiny head in my hand, I had no idea how exhilarating and intimidating fatherhood could be.

It was a different and deeper kind of love than I had ever experienced. I found joy simply by touching him, watching him, even changing his diapers.

Worry and responsibility took on new meanings. I worried all the time – and still do – about his health and happiness. And I internalized a sense of responsibility to keep him safe and help him develop the skills and attributes he would need to make him a happy and productive person.

Because I wanted him to be proud of me, I started thinking more about how I was living my life and what it would take to be worthy of this precious gift. In fact, it was becoming a father that started me on the journey that led to establishing the Joseph & Edna Josephson Institute of Ethics, named after my own parents.

I have been blessed with four more magnificent children – all daughters – and can honestly say that no accomplishment I’ve achieved or honor I’ve received has been as important as the title “Dad.”

Justin, thanks for that profound gift. I hope to be worthy of it. Happy birthday, Son.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 11:10 AM | Permalink | Comment (4)

If you’re not going to school or work today, it’s because it’s a national holiday. The country used to celebrate the birthdays of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln separately, but in 1971 Richard Nixon created a perpetual three-day weekend by merging the two into a brand-new one called Presidents’ Day, supposedly to honor all U.S. Presidents.

I’ve seen a lot of holidaying on this day but precious little honoring or even recognizing the contributions of any of our Presidents. We do that a lot, don’t we? We reduce our special days of national celebration to their core essence: a day off. Even on a slow news weekend, the media rarely informs or reminds us of the magnificent character of two of our greatest American heroes.

I worry that failing to remind our children and ourselves about our roots in a way that nurtures both pride and gratitude fosters an unhealthy, self-absorbed entitlement mentality. Sure, we’ll gladly take the day off for Presidents’ Day, Memorial Day, and Veterans’ Day, and shoot off fireworks on July 4th, but we’re too busy or blasé to pause to re-connect with our heritage and experience real appreciation for our heroes and their sacrifices.

Despite our initial surge of patriotism following September 11, I fear we’re becoming an ungrateful people, unwilling to appreciate what we have and why we have it. And we wonder why our kids don’t appreciate what they have and what we do for them.

If we keep treating our most important values as meaningless relics, that’s exactly what they’ll become.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 5:58 PM | Permalink | Comment (3)

I wish we still celebrated Lincoln’s birthday. I’m an Abraham Lincoln groupie. By sheer good fortune, my son Justin was born on his birthday, my daughter Abrielle was named after him, and one of our dogs was named Lincoln. My favorite place in Washington D.C. is the Lincoln Memorial where I stand in awe of the magnificent eloquence of this self-educated, self-made man.

His ability to empathize and his genuine caring for others are constantly revealed in his letters and speeches. And though he felt the pain of others as deeply as any man could, fate and duty made him commander in chief during our nation’s bloodiest war.

Although we know him as an effective leader, in his own time he was more often ridiculed than revered, sometimes belittled as an unrefined bumpkin. Personally, he was prone to self-doubt and depression.

I have no illusion that he was a perfect man. His flaws and his awareness of them, however, make him all the more admirable in my eyes.

He frequently struggled between his keen sense of political pragmatism and his compelling idealism. Despite occasional compromises and mistakes, he’s indisputably and justifiably one of the most esteemed men in history, leaving a legacy of honor, integrity, courage, compassion, and wisdom.

Lincoln understood the difference between real character and reputation, describing character as a tree and reputation as its shadow. His face is carved on Mount Rushmore and adorns both our penny and five-dollar bill.

But it’s Lincoln’s "tree," his character, that stands so tall and strong and honors our nation.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:56 AM | Permalink | Comment (7)

A study titled “Parenting by Lying” reveals that most parents lie to their children, even though they tell their kids lying is wrong. The parents surveyed said they didn’t feel guilty because their lies were intended to accomplish legitimate parental goals such as getting a child to stop crying or protecting a child from feeling bad or sad.

Reviewing the wide range of casual or careless lies told by parents to change behavior or manipulate emotions supports the observation that “the road to Hell is often paved with good intentions.”

Although honesty is an important virtue, I’m not a truth-telling fanatic. Truth can sometimes be sacrificed for another ethical value, and it’s sometimes okay to praise a present you dislike or choose kindness over candor.

My bedrock premise is that trust is more important than truth.

Playing with the truth is like playing with fire. It’s sometimes justified, but it’s unfailingly precarious. Lies are almost always bad because they almost always destroy trust.

Thus, before you decide that your noble intentions justify a lie, ask yourself: “If the person I lie to finds out the truth, will he or she thank me for caring or feel betrayed?” In other words, is the lie likely to damage trust?

Here are some other guidelines:

• Be sure the benefit you’re trying to gain by lying is important enough to risk a loss of trust.


• Don’t lie if you can accomplish your noble goal without lying (necessity isn’t a fact, it’s an interpretation).


• Be careful that the lie doesn’t cause serious unintended consequence (e.g., telling a child a monster will take him or her away could generate serious long-term anxiety).

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 12:02 PM | Permalink | Comment (19)

Roy, a service rep, is told that one of the salesmen forgot to send an order for window blinds to the factory. As a result, they won’t be available for another ten days. Roy must call Jenny, the customer, and explain why her blinds won’t be delivered on the date promised.

What should he tell her?

Telling Jenny the real reason will likely infuriate her and cause her to demand a refund or deep discount. This isn’t a good result, so he devises a plausible but false excuse shifting the blame to Jenny’s credit-card company. He even makes himself a hero by convincing her he did everything possible to solve the problem and, though his company wasn’t at fault, he convinced his manager to give Jenny a 10 percent discount for her inconvenience.

Jenny is angry at the credit-card company and upset about not getting her blinds, but she’s impressed with the professional way Roy handled the situation. Her loyalty to the company is strengthened.

Should Roy be praised or penalized?

The case for praise is that he took a lemon and made lemonade. He turned a bad situation into a good one, and no one was hurt (except, maybe, the credit-card company – and who cares about them?). His little white lie yielded great dividends and was well within the norms of business.

The case for reprimanding or firing Roy is that a good decision must be ethical as well as effective. He was dishonest and, whether his solution worked or not, a company that values trust shouldn’t permit dishonesty to be used as a problem-solving tactic.

If you were Roy’s boss, what would you do?

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:41 AM | Permalink | Comment (9)

Cynicism about the ethics of elected officials may be at an all-time high, continually fueled by new stories of corruption and/or bad judgment. At every level of government there are politicians who can’t seem to recognize or resist conflicts of interest, inappropriate gifts, improper use of the power or property entrusted to them, or shameful private conduct.

It’s no surprise that the media are continually shining light on real and perceived improprieties and putting the heat on federal, state, and city legislatures to pass new and tougher ethics laws to restore public trust.

The phrase “ethics laws” is peculiar because it marries two different concepts. Ethics refers to standards of right and wrong and how a person should behave according to moral principles such as honesty, fairness, responsibility, and respect. Living ethically is a matter of conscience. Unethical conduct results in shame and perhaps criticism, scandal, or disgrace.

While ethics is about should, laws are about must. They prohibit or mandate specific conduct. Obeying the law is a matter of compliance. Illegal conduct can result in fines and imprisonment.

Ethics laws meld both concepts. They require conduct (such as open meetings and disclosure of financial interests) and forbid transactions that could compromise the integrity of government. Because those regulated have a high tendency to evade the spirit and purpose of such laws, statutes have become more complex and technical.

Historically, legislative bodies have been reactive rather than proactive, doing only what they absolutely must. Thus, existing laws are often a hodgepodge of regulations designed to prevent reoccurrence of specific past improprieties. That’s a big part of the problem.

What we need is nonpartisan statesmanship and visionary leadership willing to face the fact that relying on elected officials’ judgment is a failed strategy. Doing so guarantees a continual flow of scandals that discredits their institutions and the enterprise of democratic government itself.

While I wish more emphasis was placed on character rather than compliance, the reality is that voters don’t consistently demand scrupulous integrity as evidenced by the re-election of people stained by scandal.

It’s often said that you can’t legislate morality. This is true. But we can require moral conduct. Ethics laws don’t make people ethical, but they deter unethical conduct. And that’s an important first step.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 11:14 AM | Permalink | Comment (2)

Although rising cheating rates in schools have signaled for a decade that the hole in our moral ozone is getting bigger, the media seem to have just discovered there's a problem. But the new hook they've seized upon concerns the use of high-tech tools from the Internet to cell phones.

This drives me crazy because the more we focus on all the clever ways youngsters can cheat, the more likely we are to ignore the fact that the biggest single factor in escalating academic dishonesty is the failure of parents and teachers to diligently teach, enforce, advocate, and model personal integrity. It's the adults, not the kids, who have the greatest responsibility to create an ethical culture that nurtures the virtues of honor, honesty, and fairness.

One part of that responsibility is to demonstrate a commitment to the integrity of exams and grades. Thus, we can solve the problem of high-tech exam cheating by old-fashioned, low-tech methods: Don't let students bring anything into the exam room that isn't essential to the test. If calculators are necessary, adopt a procedure that assures that students empty the device of any improper information.

There are many well-established procedures that can eliminate or reduce cheating, such as having alternative forms of exams, not giving the same test at different times in the day, and assuring that the exam is proctored by an attentive adult who continuously walks among the test takers.

What message do you think schools send when these simple procedures are ignored?
The truth is, we will never solve the cheating problem until those who have the opportunity to instill values and shape attitudes of young people engage in thoughtful, systematic, and comprehensive efforts to promote integrity and prevent cheating.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:05 AM | Permalink | Comment (11)

Years ago, a Southern woman was in one of my workshops. When asked to tell a story that impacted her character, she described an incident when she was 5. She was at her grandfather’s house all dressed up in a white dress with a crinoline and new gloves, proud as she could be.

Her granddaddy told her she could go into the kitchen and get herself a cookie. Next to the cookies was a stack of quarters. Sure that no one was looking, she took one of the quarters, too.

When she returned with her cookie, her granddaddy asked her to show him her gloves. She held out only her left hand, and he said, “Show me the other hand.” When she reluctantly did so, revealing the quarter, she saw disappointment in her grandpa’s eyes.

He paused a moment and then “hugged me up,” saying, “Darlin’, you can have anything in the world that I have, but it breaks my heart that you’d ever steal it.” Some 50 years later, this story of how her granddaddy gave her the gift of conscience still brought tears to her eyes.

Few things have as large an impact on shaping the values of a child as the sting of lovingly administered shame. It helps define right from wrong and gives a powerful emotional dimension to issues of ethics and character.

Kids, and adults for that matter, learn from their mistakes. Parents, teachers, and coworkers can hold others accountable and remind them of their moral obligations without humiliating or condemning them.

What we can’t do is just let transgressions go, unless we want to send the message that it’s okay. What we allow, we encourage. And we should never encourage anything other than moral excellence.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:35 AM | Permalink | Comment (22)

Most Americans say they’re religious and their beliefs are important to their lives, yet I’m astonished at how many blatantly ignore the moral expectations intrinsic to their religion.

Religion isn’t about only worship and ritual; it teaches believers how to live. Thus, the holy books of every major religion are filled with precepts and principles about honesty, justice, fidelity, compassion, and charity that leave no doubt about the role ethics and personal virtue should play in our daily lives at home and at work.

In his fine book The Business Bible: 10 New Commandments for Bringing Spirituality & Ethical Values into the Workplace, Rabbi Wayne Dosick tells of a soapmaker who challenged a rabbi: “What good is religion? It teaches honesty, but most people are dishonest.”

The rabbi answered, “My dear soapmaker, religion – like soap – only works when you use it.”

The ancient truths and enduring values embodied in traditional religions are more than guidelines or suggestions about how to behave. To those who profess religious belief, moral and ethical behavior isn’t an option. It’s a mandate.

To practice religious rituals and claim reverent identity without scrupulous concern for the moral teachings of one’s faith is like going to a fine restaurant and eating the menu rather than the food.

It’s also blatant hypocrisy. Integrity is about wholeness, the unity of beliefs, words, and actions. I’m not saying you have to be devout to be ethical. I’m saying if religion is important to you, so is ethics.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:31 AM | Permalink | Comment (7)

A hit number in the 1960 play Bye Bye Birdie began with a classic parent’s lament: “I don’t know what’s wrong with these kids today. Why can’t they be like we were?”

The answer, of course, is they’re just like we were. Sometimes that’s good, often it’s not. Every generation of kids coping with raging hormones and a need to express independence and individuality will use language, wear clothes, listen to music, and dance in ways that may offend their parents. Many will engage in conduct that their parents think is wrong or unwise.

Should modern parents just relax and let kids do their thing, confident that no lasting harm will come of it? I don’t think so.

Sure, we should recognize the inherent limitations of parenting and the futility and impropriety of trying to control every phase of our children’s lives, but that doesn’t justify passive or permissive parenting. Although we can’t control our kids, we can influence them. And when necessary, we can confine their options by saying no and backing it up with whatever tools we have.

Parents may disagree on where to draw the line when it comes to sloppy or sexy clothing, Internet use, loud music with crude lyrics, and body piercing and tattoos, but lines must be drawn somewhere and enforced. This is particularly important regarding issues about alcohol, drugs, and sex. Kids need and deserve guidance and boundaries.

Our children won’t necessarily accept our views of right and wrong, but if we state them clearly and continually, they’re more likely to consider them.

What do you think?

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 12:28 PM | Permalink | Comment (7)

According to an article in The Wall Street Journal, two-thirds of the world’s population, including almost everyone in the Continental United States and Europe, no longer see a starry sky where they live.

The reason: City lights prevent us from seeing much more than a canopy of gray shadows. What a pity. In rural or remote areas with little or no artificial lights, about 2,000 stars can be seen on a clear night, and the experience can be breathtaking.

Whether we credit God or physics, how can we avoid the conclusion that our cosmos is governed by forces that dwarf anything our simple species can muster? How can we not feel like transitory snowflakes in a universe that measures time in billions of years and space in trillions of miles?

At the same time, a star-filled sky can be both empowering and inspiring. It can cause us to ponder the meaning and purpose of our lives and has ignited the imagination of poets, philosophers, theologians, and scientists for centuries.

It’s bad enough that the technology of contemporary civilization prevents us from seeing the extraterrestrial stars. It’s worse when we allow the shallow values and frenetic pace of modern society to prevent us from seeing and following the aspirations and principles that are our own internal guiding stars.

Every day we’re challenged to rise above petty office politics, senseless family conflicts, negative emotions, and unbridled ego so we can live our lives large and be worthy of our place in the universe.

We may not be able to see the stars by looking up, but if we close our eyes and look inward, we can find and follow the best within us.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:26 AM | Permalink | Comment (5)

I love maxims, those concise capsules of worldly wisdom. I collect them and write them and, of course, love to share them. Here are 18 random rules of life worth posting on your mirror or, better yet, using as dinner-time discussion starters.

1. Find the lesson in every failure and you’ll never fail.
2. The likelihood that you’re right is not increased by the intensity of your conviction.
3. Real friends help you feel worthy and make you want to be better.
4. When you’re in a hole, stop digging.
5. Don’t confuse fun with fulfillment or pleasure with happiness.
6. Refusing to let go of a grudge is refusing to use the key that will set you free.
7. Hating hurts you more than the person you hate.
8. Counting on luck is counting on random chance. Your odds are much better when you plan and work.
9. Being kind is better than being clever.
10. Don’t underestimate the power of persistence.
11. The easy way is rarely the best way.
12. It’s much easier to burst someone else’s bubble than to blow up your own.
13. You can’t avoid pain, but you can avoid suffering.
14. Self-pity is a losing strategy. It repels others and weakens you.
15. Shortcuts usually produce short success.
16. Control your attitude or it will control you.
17. It’s more important to be significant than successful.
18. The world is waiting for you to heal it.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:51 AM | Permalink | Comment (12)