In this interview Michael comments on some of the big news stories of 2009. Originally broadcast Dec. 27, 2009 on NBC4 Los Angeles.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 11:29 AM | Permalink | Comment (0)

It’s a wise custom to end an old year and begin a new one with serious self-reflection. What did you learn this year that could improve your life and make you a better person?

Start by examining the way you think and feel about your job, your relationships, and yourself. After all, the single most important factor in personal happiness and your impact on others is your attitude.

In the geometry of life, the axiom is “positive attitudes produce positive results.” They make success more likely, failures less harmful, pleasures more frequent, and pain more bearable. Some people tend to bring warm sunshine wherever they go; others bring cold chills. What do you bring?

To find out where you can improve, take an inventory of your predispositions, the attitude you’re most likely to start with:

• Are you generally optimistic or pessimistic?
• Do you tend to assume the best or expect the worst of people?
• Is your first instinct to be empathetic or judgmental?
• Is your first instinct to be supportive or critical?
• Do you send the message that you enjoy life or that you’re barely enduring it?
• Do you come across as the captain of your own ship or simply a passenger?

Wherever you are on the positive-attitude spectrum, think how much better things could be if you were more consistently and self-consciously optimistic, empathetic, supportive, grateful, enthusiastic, hopeful, and cheerful.

So why not resolve to think, act, and speak more positively about yourself, your family, your coworkers, and everyone else in your life?

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:26 AM | Permalink | Comment (5)

The tradition of making New Year’s resolutions reflects two of the best qualities of human nature: the desire and ability to improve ourselves and our lives. But just as effective organizations formulate annual strategic plans to identify goals and create action plans to achieve them, we can use the New Year’s resolution concept to make strategic plans for our lives.

We can certainly do better than making random internal promises about dieting or trying harder to get along with difficult relatives. Instead, I suggest you organize your resolution-making by thinking of what you’d like to have more of and less of in five aspects of your life: 1) physical, 2) emotional, 3) intellectual, 4) social, and 5) spiritual.

First, what are all the things you could do to improve your physical well-being? Perhaps you should resolve to eat less or eat better, to drink less, or to exercise more. If you smoke or take drugs, you could resolve to stop.

In terms of your emotional life, identify the things that make you happy and fulfilled. Is there anything you could do to feel better about who you are and what you do? Would things be better if you changed your attitude by being more optimistic, enthusiastic, and cheerful and less judgmental, cynical, and critical? Should you spend more time with people and activities that bring out the best in you?

After you’ve dealt with your body and your heart, think of your brain. What are you willing to do to become smarter, wiser, and more interesting? Resolve to feed your mind and spend more time exploring your curiosities and passions.

Perhaps the best road to happiness is to improve your social relationships. Would it help if you were more attentive, patient, or empathetic? Is there a way to schedule more time with people you care about?

Finally, reflect deeply on the spiritual dimension of your life. Resolve to draw more on your religion or other philosophical convictions and to think about the meaning and purpose of your life in grander terms.

Remember, as Benjamin Disraeli said, life is too short to be little.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:47 AM | Permalink | Comment (2)

As we throw out last year’s calendar and break out a new one, it makes sense to look backward at where we’ve been, inside to assess where we are, and forward to where we’re going.

Henry David Thoreau urged us to set priorities, warning that “Our life is frittered away by detail...Simplify, simplify.”

John Greenleaf Whittier reminded us that our future is often the harvest of our actions: “The tissue of the life to be, we weave with colors all our own. And in the field of destiny, we reap as we have sown.”

Lincoln added another dimension: “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” He also said, “A person is generally as happy as they are willing to be.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson urged us to find the spark within: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

According to Robert Byrne, “The purpose of life is a life of purpose.” And the Prophet Mohammad instructed that: “A man’s true wealth is the good he does in this world.”

I’ll conclude with the observation of Rabbi Harold Kushner: “Our souls are not hungry for fame, comfort, wealth, or power. Those rewards create almost as many problems as they solve. Our souls are hungry for meaning, for the sense that we have figured out how to live so our lives matter, so the world will be at least a little bit different for our having passed through it.”

This is Michael Josephson wishing you a Happy New Year filled with meaning and purpose and reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:20 AM | Permalink | Comment (5)

Let’s face it. Painful personal trauma and tragedy – like illness or injury, death of a loved one, loss of a job, or an unexpected breakup of a relationship – are unavoidable. The question is: Will these private calamities erode our capacity to be happy or cause us to become stronger and better able to live a meaningful and fulfilling life?

Consider how differently carrots, eggs, and ground coffee beans are affected by the extreme adversity of being boiled. Like a carrot, adversity can soften us. We can emerge more flexible, understanding, compassionate, and grateful, or we can let our life spirit turn into a soft mush.

Like an egg, boiling water can make us harder, stronger, tougher, and wiser, or we can become more cynical, pessimistic, callous, and inaccessible.

And like a coffee bean, we can willingly transform our lives into something better or lose ourselves completely.

We can’t control what happens to us, but we have a lot to say about how we react and, therefore, what happens in us. The first step to turning adversity into advantage is to get out of the hot water as quickly as possible. Don’t dwell on catastrophe. Grieve, but move on. Don’t define your life by misfortune.

Second, force yourself to move forward. Draw on your inner strengths, the people who love you, and your faith to transform your life into something better. Formulate a vision of a more purposeful life filled with people and experiences that will help you become more fulfilled.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:31 AM | Permalink | Comment (1)

Will this be a good Christmas? How will you measure it?

To lots of kids, the answer may be embedded in the response to the question: “Whaddja get?” On the other hand, retailers and Wall Street investors will look to sales and profits. What a pity that the spiritual and social potential of this holiday can be so easily lost.

Of course, Christmas is a profoundly important day of worship to devout Christians, so a good Christmas must include a meaningful religious connection with the teachings of Jesus. But for many Christians and non-Christians, there are other dimensions to this day.

In fact, Christmas is more than a single day; it’s a season involving weeks of preparation and celebration devoted to family, friendships, and most important of all a grand vision of “peace on earth and goodwill toward men.” To me, a good Christmas is one that helps us become better people so we can have better lives and a better society.

On a personal level, the optimism, good cheer, and goodwill embodied in the Christmas spirit are antidotes to selfishness and superficiality. They can help us find purpose and meaning in love, kindness, charity, gratitude, and forgiveness.

On a social level, a good Christmas is one where we can say we’ve made meaningful progress combating homelessness, hunger, and poverty. It would also be a good Christmas if we truly overcame the fears, suspicions, and prejudices that hinder our expression of goodwill to all men, regardless of their ethnicity, national origin, or personal religion.

Regardless of your religion, I hope you’ll make this Christmas a good one.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 5:17 PM | Permalink | Comment (0)

A story tells of a man who read an appeal in his church bulletin to gather food, gifts, and toys to help one of the church’s families have a better Christmas. The man, whose own family was struggling, told his wife, “We must help them.”

The couple and their three young sons collected a few items of food, clothing, and toys from the little they had. “This is the heart of Christmas,” he told his boys as they raced to the church where a caravan of cars was ready to deliver the gifts to the needy family.

When the caravan departed, the family was surprised to see the vehicles turn down their street. They were even more shocked to see them park in front of their home. Although everyone at the church had wanted to help the family in need, the recipients, who needed it the most, still had room in their hearts to give.

Cicero said that men come closest to approaching the gods when they do good for their fellow man. Voluntarily giving our time and possessions without any desire or expectation of anything except the hope that it will give comfort or a moment of happiness to another is the highest expression of human morality.

John Wesley put it simply: “Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the places you can. At all times you can. As long as ever you can.”

So here’s my plan. Whatever organizations you were thinking of giving to this year, add just one more. Whatever amount you were thinking of giving, add just 10 percent more. Stretch yourself. It will mean a lot to those you help and to your heart.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 3:18 PM | Permalink | Comment (0)

Jean Gietzen wrote a lovely essay about a personal family experience in 1943 that I’ll retell here.

It was just before Christmas in North Dakota, and Jean's family had just bought a Nativity set with small figurines. Her mother was deeply disturbed to discover the set included an extra Baby Jesus. Since their set had two, she was certain someone else’s was missing its Baby Jesus. It was a simple packaging error, her father said. But her mother would have none of it.

“Please go back to the store,” she told him. “Tell the manager to put up a sign with our phone number, 7162, saying to call if anyone’s set is missing a Baby Jesus.”

The next week her mother hovered by the phone, but no one called. She insisted her father trek to the store in 20-below-zero weather to make sure the sign had been put up. As his gift to her, he complied, complaining all the way.

When he returned to tell her the sign was posted in the window, he found her gone. In a few minutes, she called him on the phone and told him to bring three blankets, a box of cookies, and a carton of milk to 205 Chestnut Street – and bring the kids.

When they arrived, they found a woman and two young children in a cold, darkened home. Weeks before, the woman’s husband had taken the bedding and furniture and left. Now the furnace was broken.

Jean’s father realized what he should do, and his attitude changed instantly. He stopped grousing and set about to fix the furnace while Jean's mother distributed the blankets, cookies, and warm milk to the woman and her children. Her father called some buddies and within hours, clothes, bedding, lamps, toys, and extra oil for the furnace were delivered to the home.

How were they called to this mission of mercy? The woman said she'd seen their sign posted in the store and figured that anyone kind enough to worry about a missing Baby Jesus would find a way to help her. So she called 7162.

And she was right.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 3:11 PM | Permalink | Comment (0)

I confess, I’ve become a holiday-season neurotic. And I wonder, is it just me?

I love the music, I love the decorations, and I love the giving spirit of Hanukkah and Christmas. But my life is bursting at the seams with a daunting and growing list of business tasks and personal chores that I’m neglecting as I try to joyfully pursue my holiday desires and duties by sending cards to and buying gifts for a small army of family, friends, and business associates.

I’ve become as neurotically insecure as Charlie Brown. I feel bad about thinking it’s a burden. I worry about finding gifts that will be truly appreciated. Sure, I know it’s supposed to be the thought that counts, but I’ve found it really helps if the gift is something the other person finds desirable. I worry that I’ll get something the gift-getter thinks is atrocious, useless, redundant, or cheap.

I also worry whether the beneficiaries of my gifts will think I spent enough time and money so that – if it really is the thought that counts – it will count enough to convince them they’re valued.

I even worry about the notes I write. I want them to go beyond the standard clichés. I want each one to be personal, profound, clever, and meaningful as well as sincere and original. But I run out of things to say and forget what I wrote the year before. I worry that I’ll give the same verbal gift I gave previously.

I expect to be rebuked by listeners for having the wrong attitude, but that will only make me feel worse. I think I’ll just put my head under the covers and take a nap.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 3:00 PM | Permalink | Comment (5)

“’Tis the season to be jolly.”

Indeed, the holiday season, undeniably dominated by the trappings and traditions of Christmas, is not only a time for solemn worship but a period of high festivity, grand enthusiasm, and good cheer.

Despite pervasive and relentless commercialism conveying a sense of superficiality and artificiality, I still find that the music, decorations, holiday cards, and gifts associated with Christmas make me a huge fan of cheerfulness.

Even the forced and phony joyfulness of “Ho, Ho, Ho” department-store Santas can generate authentic delight.

There’s no doubt about it, good nature is a powerful force that makes people, including the person exuding it, feel better. I love to be around merry people.

I used to think cheerfulness was an inborn disposition. Gleeful people were simply hardwired to look on the bright side. I’ve come to realize, however, that happiness is more often a choice than a trait.

Many people are self-consciously good-spirited as a life strategy to make themselves and those they interact with happier. It’s a matter of character to repress or overcome personal grievances, sorrows, and setbacks and willfully project positive attitudes.

A cheerful person and a somber one look at the same things, but they see them differently. They also look for other things. Someone once made the distinction between a person who is happy because he has no cares at all and a cheerful person who has cares but doesn’t let them get him down.

Your cheerfulness is the greatest gift you can give others. So cheer up – for your sake and ours.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 2:26 PM | Permalink | Comment (0)

Okay. I can’t take it anymore. In the face of mountains of evidence that Tiger Woods hid a secret life based on lies and duplicity, I have to abandon my previous “leave Tiger alone” position to join the “shame on you” bandwagon.

I know this will disappoint some of my listeners, especially those who think we should ignore or minimize his extramarital escapades because he’s only human, because people make mistakes, or because so many cheat on their spouses.

First, the “he’s only human” excuse is a nonstarter. Although humans are imperfect, we’re also the only living creatures with the capacity to know right from wrong and the ability to make a rational choice to do what’s right. Our humanity shouldn’t be defined by our negative tendencies but by our great potential for virtue.

Second, what Tiger did wasn’t a mistake. His infidelities were premeditated and done in reckless disregard for the harm they could and ultimately did cause to people who love and trust him, most notably his wife.

Finally, Tiger can’t find refuge in the “everyone does it” excuse, not only because it’s false but because it’s a rationalization that masks the sheer brutality of marital infidelity. Yes, it’s common. Yes, lots of otherwise good people do it. Still, there are few things one human being can do to another that cause deeper or more lasting pain.

The indecency of his infidelity wasn’t about sex. Tiger’s squeaky clean image gave him Zeus-like status on the sparsely populated Mt. Olympus of sports role models, which enabled him to make millions of extra dollars. Sadly, it was a fraud, and many of us feel cheated.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:48 AM | Permalink | Comment (13)

I was going to talk today about my reactions to the Tiger Woods story, but the diversity and intensity of letters I’ve received on the topic convinces me it’s worth thinking first about our unavoidable obligation to decide whether to listen to or look away from stories about the private lives of prominent people.

Whether a story is delivered by sincere and responsible journalists or crass gossipmongers cashing in on the public’s voyeuristic tendencies, each of us must decide whether a story is relevant news that’s worthy of thought and discussion or trivial chitchat that should be ignored by decent people.

Was Bill Clinton’s White House dalliance with Monica Lewinsky worthy of all the attention it got? Should we have turned away from stories on the sexual activities of evangelists Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, and Ted Haggard or the infidelities of Newt Gingrich, John Edwards, and dozens of other elected officials?

If we’re not from their state, is there any reason to be concerned that New York Governor Elliott Spitzer spent thousands of dollars on prostitutes or that New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey had a homosexual affair on the state’s payroll?

Are the drug and alcohol problems of Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and scores of other entertainers a legitimate topic of revelation and discussion? Is it proper to want to know how Heath Ledger or Brittany Murphy died?

Should we ignore Mel Gibson’s drunken anti-Semitic tirade, Michael Jackson’s child molestation accusations, pictures of swimmer Michael Phelps smoking marijuana, adultery by Jon in Jon & Kate Plus 8, or Tiger Woods’s domestic problems?

There’s no simple answer.

Some think gossip is a price of fame and a legitimate form of entertainment. Others think it’s an unforgivable waste of time detracting from important issues. Some think it’s wrong to judge. Others think public figures should be held accountable for their private conduct, especially if it clashes with their public image or perceived role-modeling responsibility or if it reveals that their character makes them unfit.

What are your guiding principles on such matters?

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:58 AM | Permalink | Comment (4)

Until 1987, the press adhered to a code of silence that protected powerful people from having to answer for infidelities.

This changed after a newspaper outed presidential candidate Senator Gary Hart with photos and a well-investigated story proving the Senator had cheated on his wife. The story created a new journalistic ethic that subjects major public figures to ruthless and relentless scrutiny about everything, including their sex lives.

The justification is that the way people treat their vows and their spouses reveals important aspects of their character. Since that time, searching for and sensationalizing infidelity has been fair game, and the careers of scores of politicians and evangelists have been damaged or destroyed by marital transgressions.

Although an unruly mob of gossip reporters and bloggers eagerly and without restraint report anything that feeds the hunger of fans who want to know everything about the people they admire, serious news organizations generally don’t treat the sexual lives of athletes and entertainers as news unless a crime is involved. In fact, it’s assumed that promiscuity is the norm.

This is the context in which I initially urged restraint in exposing details of Tiger Woods’s private life and recommended generosity in judging a man who seemed to lead a decent life and set a good example.

In fact, with the help of careful image-making, Tiger had achieved Zeus-like status on the sparsely populated Mt. Olympus of sports role models. He was Mr. Clean; not only a great golfer but a great guy, an image that helped him become the first billion-dollar athlete.

Unfortunately, it’s now clear that he doesn’t deserve the slack I and others wanted to give him. Perhaps his serial infidelities and massive hypocrisy may make Tiger the new Gary Hart.

More about this tomorrow.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:47 AM | Permalink | Comment (5)

Plagiarism and her close cousins, cheating and resume fraud, are much in the news these days. While many are outraged, others are quick to excuse and shrug off such conduct. “What’s the big deal?” they ask.

Well, first, plagiarism is a form of lying and fraud. Often it’s a form of theft as well. But even if the plagiarized person consents, the act is fundamentally dishonest. Those who take credit for the writings or ideas of others victimize everyone who believes the plagiarist’s false claims.

Second, if plagiarism and other forms of cheating are treated lightly, more people will engage in such conduct more often. Remember, what we allow, we encourage. Because the Internet makes plagiarism so easy, it becomes even more important to impose consequences on cheaters that are serious enough to deter others.

Third, the reason to impose severe sanctions on people who lie and cheat is not so much to inflict pain on the wrongdoers as it is to honor and uphold moral principles and protect honest people from being taken unfair advantage of. When cheaters are allowed to prosper, we betray all those who have the virtue and courage to resist such temptations.

Finally, all forms of cheating are habit-forming. What’s more, cheaters invariably lie to cover up their cheating, increasing the damage to their own credibility and generating toxic distrust and cynicism that undermines all of society.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 2:18 PM | Permalink | Comment (16)

From time to time Linda Ellis, a talented writer in Georgia, sends me poems. Here’s an excerpt from “One More Day.”

I could squander these given hours, treat each task as if it’s a chore
and mark this day off my calendar like so many times before.

I could overlook the blooming flowers and ignore the sun’s warm light
before it inevitably sets again, turning my gift of day to night.

I could dwell upon mistakes I’ve made and cry regretful tears
and live my life in the shadow of my own anxieties and fears.

Or I could make a resolution, before one more day has passed,
that I shall live it to its fullest, live it...as it if were my last.

Then I shall, as I awaken, relinquish my fret and my sorrow
and accept one more day to love and laugh, with no guarantee of tomorrow.

At night, as I lay down my head only to wake again, I’ll pray,
and if I do, then I’ll thank God for giving me one more day.

The theme of gratitude and appreciation for each day reflects old but important wisdom like this from another, unknown author: “Yesterday is a dream. Tomorrow is a vision. But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope.”

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

To thank Linda for her lovely thoughts and read more of her poems, visit www.lindaslyrics.com.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:33 AM | Permalink | Comment (4)

Tim knew his father was an important lawyer who worked most nights and weekends. So he was disappointed but not surprised when his father didn’t attend his last soccer game of the season.

That night he got up the nerve to interrupt his dad’s work to ask: “How much do lawyers make?”

Annoyed, his father answered gruffly, “My clients pay me $300 an hour.”

Tim gulped. “Wow, that’s a lot. Could you lend me $100?”

“Of course not,” his father frowned. “Please, just let me work.”

Moments later, he heard his son sobbing, and he called him back. "Son, I’m sorry,” he said. “If you need some money, of course I’ll lend it to you. But can I ask why you need it?”

Tim said, “Well, I’ve saved $200, and if you lend me a hundred, I’ll have enough.”

“Enough for what?”

“To buy an hour of your time so you can come to our banquet on Friday and see me get the most valuable player award. Will you come?”

The father felt like he’d been stabbed in the heart as he realized the cost he’d paid for his priorities.

None of his clients needed him as much as his son, and nothing he could do as a lawyer was more important than what he could do as a father. How had he missed that insight?

It’s always difficult to balance job demands and family needs, but the test of whether you work too much is simple: Are you able to be the kind of parent your child deserves?

Few people look back on their lives and wish they’d spent more time at the office. A lot wish they’d spent more time with their kids.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

This story is derived and adapted from one that was circulated on the Internet without attribution. The original source is unknown.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:40 AM | Permalink | Comment (4)

Sarah’s mom agreed to let her go to a party if she promised to be home by midnight. But as the Cinderella hour approached, the 16-year-old did a quick risk/reward calculation.

She knew her mom would be angry and probably ground her, but she was having so much fun she decided it was worth it. Sure enough, when she got home at 2:00 a.m., her mom was waiting for her, enraged that Sarah had violated her promise but relieved she was safe.

“Breaking your word was bad enough,” her mom said, “but how could you be so cruel and selfish not call and say you were safe? I was worried sick.”

Sarah concluded her evening of bad choices with another: “You forced me into agreeing. The curfew was unfair. As to your worrying, that was your choice. I was perfectly safe. Just tell me the punishment and let me go to bed.”

This is ugly.

Sarah’s first mistake was to think she had a right to break her promise because she was “forced” into it. Mom’s proposition was “Deal or no deal?” Sarah made a deal, and like it or not, she was morally bound to keep her word.

Her second mistake was to think she could buy off the moral duty to keep her promise simply by accepting punishment. Her mom’s trust wasn’t mended because Sarah paid a penalty. Ultimately, the issue wasn’t about curfews and parties; it was about trust and credibility. Her lack of remorse and accountability only made things worse, critically damaging her relationship with her mom.

Her third mistake was to think she wasn’t responsible, despite her refusal to accept responsibility for inflicting mental anguish on her mom. She was. If she bothered to think about it, Sarah knew her conduct would cause gut-wrenching worry, every bit as painful as a punch to the stomach. A person is ethically accountable for the predictable consequences of his or her actions.

In a nutshell, Sarah didn’t act with character. She was untrustworthy, irresponsible, disrespectful, and unkind. It will take her a long time to build the healthy bonds of trust that both she and her mom want and need.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 1:56 PM | Permalink | Comment (4)

This is a parable about leadership. A teacher assigned her 12th graders to write an essay about a leader. Most kids wrote about famous people, but one student named Julius titled his paper “Benny: The Man on the Bus.”

He wrote: “I’ve been taking a public bus to school for years. Most passengers go to work and almost no one talks to anyone else.

“About a year ago, an elderly man got on the bus and said loudly to the driver, ‘Good morning!’ Most people looked up annoyed, and the bus driver just grunted.

“The next day the man got on at the same stop and again said loudly, ‘Good morning!’ to the driver. On the fifth day, the driver greeted the man with a cheerful ‘Good morning!’ and Benny said loudly, ‘My name’s Benny. What’s yours?’ The driver said his name was Ralph.

“It was the first time any of us had heard the driver’s name. Soon people began to talk to each other and say hello to Ralph and Benny. After a month, Benny extended his cheerful ‘Good morning!’ to the whole bus. Within a few days, his ‘Good morning!’ was returned by a whole bunch of passengers, and the entire bus seemed friendlier. If a leader is someone who makes something happen, Benny was our leader in friendliness.

“About a month ago, Benny didn’t get on the bus at his usual stop. Some thought he may have died, and no one knew what to do. The bus got awful quiet again.

“So I started to act like Benny and said, ‘Good morning!’ to everyone. They cheered up again. I guess I’m now the leader.”

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:57 AM | Permalink | Comment (1)

Jimmy was 9 when his mom told him his little sister was sick and would die if she didn’t get a blood transfusion – and Jimmy was one of the only people in the world who had the rare blood type needed. Jimmy loved his sister and, though he didn’t know what was involved, agreed to give his blood.

On the appointed day, Jimmy was solemn, but brave, when the nurse put the needle into his vein and began to drain his blood. After a few minutes of watching the bag fill, he began to get scared. Finally he asked the nurse, “How much longer will it be before I die?”

The nurse was shocked. “You’re not going to die!” she said, and then wept when she realized he thought he had to give all his blood to save his sister.

This parable, adapted from a story in Chicken Soup for the Soul, touched and inspired me because it reveals one of the noblest and distinguishing qualities of humankind: the willingness to sacrifice oneself for another.

It’s usually assumed that Darwin’s “survival of the fittest” evolutionary theory favors aggressively competitive characteristics and behavior strategies. Yet in our complex, interdependent society, our capacity to care and sacrifice for the benefit of others is the real evolutionary advantage.

Having more people like Jimmy is a major social asset, but it’s more than that. Personal happiness is more attainable when we heed the voice of our souls and find purpose and meaning through service and kindness. Despite the dog-eat-dog culture that prevails today, lasting happiness depends more on what we give than what we get.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:24 AM | Permalink | Comment (3)

I’ve talked about it lots of times before: The high cost of lying and deception by politicians and police, corporate executives and clergy, and journalists, accountants, and educators has weakened every major social institution.

As each of these professions wages its separate battle to remove the cloud of suspicion and cynicism that hovers over it, there are certain truths about trust that must be understood and dealt with.

First, there’s no shortcut to building trust. In fact, rebuilding trust on the rubble of lost credibility is much harder. The antidote is nothing less than scrupulous and consistent honesty – especially when the truth is costly.

Second, where trust is important, there are no small lies. In some ways, lies, however trivial they may seem, are like germs. Without the antibody of trust, they cause infections that can kill credibility.

Third, the lethal quality of lies lasts long after they’re told. Even lies told years ago can have an immediate poisonous effect on trust when they’re discovered. Think of all the prominent people who’ve been undone by the discovery of falsehoods on old resumes.

Fourth, while honesty and forthrightness may not always pay dividends, dishonesty and concealment always cost. In some settings, nothing good may come of admitting wrongdoing, but it can get a lot worse if you don’t.

Fifth, lies breed other lies. It’s harder to tell just one lie than to have just one potato chip. Once you start lying, it takes an ever-growing bodyguard of new falsehoods to protect the old ones.

Finally, don’t be seduced by the “fight fire with fire” excuse or all you’ll end up with are the ashes of your integrity. Self-justifications aside, you can’t lie to a liar or cheat a cheater without becoming a liar or cheater.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:34 AM | Permalink | Comment (7)

When my daughter Samara was 8, she wrote a poem as a song for some friends who were thinking of starting a band. After showing it to her mom, she said, “Don’t show it to Daddy because he’ll want to read it on the radio.” She was right. I did want to share it, but she asked me not to. It took me over a year of wrangling to cut a deal. Here it is:

The Power in Me

When morning comes and the sun rises in the east,
I think of the power in me.
When I stand up for what is right and what I believe,
It is because of the power in me.

No matter who it is or what they want me to do,
I will stand up for my beliefs because of the power in me.
When you are mad, sad, or scared,
What will help you through is the power in you.

That power comes straight from the heart.
Believing is what creates the power in anybody.
If you don’t believe in yourself,
Then say goodbye to the power in you.

When I go to sleep, before I close my eyes,
I look at the sun setting in the west,
And I thank God for giving me the power in me.

The power Samara is talking about reveals itself as resourcefulness, tenacity, integrity, self-control, and courage. She’s right. It’s in all of us. It’s also called character.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:56 AM | Permalink | Comment (3)

According to legend, a Russian countess was driven to the theater in her coach on a bitterly cold evening. To be sure she wouldn’t have to wait in the cold when she came out, she ordered the driver and footman to remain outside until she returned.

She cried during the play when an uncaring lord mistreated a loyal servant. When the performance ended, it was snowing heavily outside, and a small crowd had gathered around her carriage. She demanded to know what was going on. The driver fearfully told her that the old footman had frozen to death. The lady was appalled.

How could a sensitive woman who cried at the plight of fictional characters be so callous about the comfort and safety of her own servants?

Sometimes people see only what they want to see and know only what they want to know. It’s a form of willful blindness that afflicts many of us who profess grand principles of caring and respect but ignore them when we deal with people in our own lives.

I’ve seen parents who want their children to be happy, self-confident, and honest, yet brutalize them with relentless criticism and confuse them by cheating on their taxes or lying to get them into better schools.

Sometimes well-intentioned coaches ignore players’ injuries, emotionally abuse their athletes, or work them as if they were in a slave-labor camp – all while convincing themselves it’s for the athletes’ own good.

And I’ve worked with executives in companies who advocate employee well-being and family values but look the other way when employees, either out of fear or the desire to please, work excessively long hours and neglect their families, causing stress and domestic conflict.

We all have moral blind spots. The challenge is to have the humility to find them and the character to fix them.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:04 AM | Permalink | Comment (3)

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.”

Really? Insults, teasing, gossip, and verbal abuse can inflict deeper and more enduring pain than guns and knives.

Ask anyone who as a kid was fat, skinny, short, tall, flat-chested, big-busted, acne-faced, uncoordinated, slow-witted, or exceptionally smart. In schoolrooms and playgrounds across the country, weight, height, looks, and intelligence are the subject of more taunting and ridicule than race or religion.

And it doesn’t get better. Unkind words, tasteless jokes, criticism, and ridicule don’t lose their sting when we become adults.

There’s nothing new about this. But if we trivialize how damaging words can be, especially to youngsters, the ethical significance of verbal assaults can be lost. When we say words can’t hurt anyone, we negate the feelings of those who are genuinely hurt.

Instead of minimizing the importance of words, we should encourage parents and teachers to demand a higher level of respect and greater sensitivity precisely because words can be so powerful.

Yes, we should try to fortify our children’s sense of self-worth so they can bear insults and sarcasm better. And we should urge them not to take what others say too seriously. But it’s just as important to teach them that words have the power of grenades and must be used carefully.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 2:31 PM | Permalink | Comment (13)

One of the highlights of my life as a dad – and having five kids, I’ve had quite a few – occurred on a Saturday afternoon when I was taking my then 13-year-old son Justin and his friend Aaron to a movie. As we entered the theater, I noticed the ticket seller had undercharged me, so I asked the boys to wait a moment while I returned the money.

This did not please the boys, who were anxious to get choice seats.

Nevertheless, I endured hostile glares from people in line and even an annoyed reaction from the cashier, who corrected the mistake. When I returned, Aaron, who was exasperated because the prime seats had been taken, asked, “Why did you have to do that? It was her mistake, not yours.”

I was about to launch into a lecture on integrity when my son, who was also irritated, looked at his friend and said, “What did you expect him to do?”

Many years later, this memory is an uplifting reminder of the impact we have on the character of our kids. Hearing from my son that he expected me to be honest and knew I expected the same of him was like a pat on the back saying I’d done okay as a father.

My son, still one of the most honest people I know, realized that honesty is neither a convenience nor a choice. To a person who values integrity, it’s a habit.

When it comes to parenting, it’s hard to know what’s working and what isn’t, but one of the best rewards for attentive parenting is seeing something good in our children and knowing we played a part.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:20 AM | Permalink | Comment (4)

The older I get the less I know, but I know some things:

I know that I'm a work in process and that there will always be a gap between who I am and who I want to be.

I know that I don't have to be sick to get better and that every day brings opportunities to improve my life and my character.

I know that it's easier to talk about integrity than to live it and that the true test is my willingness to do the right thing even when it costs more than I want to pay.

I know that character is more important than competence.

I know that it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it.

I know that I often judge myself by my best intentions and most noble acts, but that I’ll be judged by my last worst act.

I know that I can’t control what will happen to me but that I have a lot to say about what happens in me.

I know that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

I know that attitudes, both good and bad, are contagious.

I know that winning is more than coming in first and that there’s no real victory without honor.

I know that it takes a conscientious effort to be kind, but that kindness changes lives.

I know that neither gratitude nor forgiveness comes naturally; both often require acts of will.

I know that real success is being significant.

I know that happiness is deeper and more enduring than either pleasure or fun and that I’m generally as happy as I'm willing to be.

I know that the surest road to happiness is good relationships and that the best way to have good relationships is to be a good person.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:27 AM | Permalink | Comment (2)

If you were hiring a new CEO, what are the most important qualities you’d look for? Surely you’d want a high level of demonstrated competence – knowledge, experience, intelligence, vision, communication, relationship skills, and the ability to motivate, manage, and solve problems. But what about qualities such as honesty, moral courage, accountability, and fairness?

Despite bold rhetoric about the indispensability of good character, many hard-driving organizations are willing to be flexible on character to get an exceptionally competent person.

Thus, many current scandals – in business, the church, and sports – have occurred because organizations compromised their principles by recruiting, retaining, or tolerating leaders with serious character flaws who generated costly accusations of wrongdoing and undermined trust, morale, teamwork, and loyalty.

I used to tell clients that competence and character were two separate aspects of intelligent employment decisions. Now I think it’s a mistake to disconnect them. Good character is an essential aspect of competence.

Long ago, Samuel Johnson said, “Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, but knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.” Warren Buffet updated that notion: “In looking for people to hire, look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. But if they don’t have the first, the other two will kill you.”

Since it’s easier to train a person of good character to do a job well than to develop character in a skilled but unprincipled employee, if you have to choose, hire for character and train for skills.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:11 AM | Permalink | Comment (4)

When I was a boy I was obsessed with reading the dairy of my 17 year-old sister. The lure of learning her secrets to satisfy my curiosity and to gather blackmail material overcame any moral qualm I had about invading her privacy.

Though reading the diary was much less satisfying than I had expected, I still haven’t outgrown my urge to know things that are none of my business. So, even though I knew I was feasting on media junk food without a speck of intellectual calories, I watched a long interview of John what’s-his-name, the unfaithful hubby from Jon & Kate Plus 8. I also followed stories about the Octomom and the balloon boy hoaxster.

Now, the roaming pack of journalistic jackals is after one of the truly great sports figures and role models of the century: Tiger Woods. He deserves better but he won’t get it. We are in for many more days, possibly weeks, of relentless gossip, speculation, and a few real facts about why Tiger crashed his car.

Media folks understand and know how to exploit the voyeuristic streak in human nature. They go too far, however, when they pretend this is legitimate journalism and that they are only doing their duty to tell the public what it has a right to know. There may be some cases where the public interest (not curiosity) justifies revelation of information a person would like to keep private, but this is surely not one of them.

We don't own celebrities and they don’t owe us unrestricted access.

There’s not only no right to know — in many cases it’s not right to know intimate details of another’s life.

We make celebrities rich because they give us pleasure. Requiring them to have their private lives randomly strip-searched is not part of the deal.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comment (38)