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Josephson Institute  >  Commentary  >  And Now for Something Completely Different 644.2

And Now for Something Completely Different 644.2

As a break from the heavy thoughts about heavy matters that have dominated my commentaries in recent days, I thought I’d share with you a list of interesting observations I’ve collected over the years. I don’t know the original sources of these quips, but they definitely weren’t from me.

  • According to a recent study, five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
  • If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with “Quit while you’re ahead”?
  • If it’s true that we’re here to help others, then what are the others here for?
  • Every good company wants employees to take risks…as long as everything turns out okay.
  • No one ever says “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
  • If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
  • Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?
  • Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
  • If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?
  • To vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question…or is it?
  • Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.
  • If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.
  • When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
  • Remember, half the people in the world are below average.
  • What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  • If a bus station is where a bus stops and a train station is where a train stops, why do companies give employees work stations?

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

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Comments

I think the reason we are all here is because we are not "all there."

These are very funny. Thank you. I wonder, when reading them, if there isn't some truth in the adage: Many a true word is spoken in jest.

Thanks, Michael, for some good humor. The Bible says, "A cheerful heart makes good medicine." May we never lose the ability to laugh at a good joke or even to laugh at ourselves.

Thanks for your commentaries. Light or heavy, they are always appreciated and they enrich my life.

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