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Josephson Institute  >  Commentary  >  The Family Treasure 637.3

The Family Treasure 637.3

A 6-year-old girl I’ll call Sarah knocked over a display case that contained a much-cherished vase once owned by her great-grandmother. Her mom loved that vase and frequently referred to it as the family treasure. The vase hit the floor with a loud crash and shattered into pieces. Sarah, shocked and frightened at what she’d done, screamed and began sobbing.

Her mom came running into the room fearing the worst. Seeing the shattered vase, her heart sank. Then she saw Sarah sitting on the floor wailing. “I’m sorry, Mommy. I’m sorry, Mommy. I broke the family treasure!”

Seeing despair on her daughter’s face, the mother’s heart plunged further.

Faced with two powerful and conflicting instincts – one toward anger and blame, the other toward compassion and forgiveness, she sat next to Sarah, pulled her on her lap, and kissed her tears. “Sweetheart, when I ran in here, I was terrified that something bad had happened to our family’s most precious treasure. But thank God, you’re okay. Sarah, you are the family treasure.”

Sarah’s mom turned what could have been a painful incident and a lifelong source of guilt into an enduring source of affirmation and worthiness.

I wonder if I would have had the presence of mind to realize in the instant after an upsetting event that I could choose my reaction and that my choice would have a permanent impact on someone I love.

The reaction of Sarah’s mom was nothing short of heroic and stands as a reminder that, even in the face of powerful emotions, we do have choices – and they really matter.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

This is my variation of a parable told by Rabbi Steven Carr Reuben, which in turn was derived from a true incident from one of his congregants.

 What do you think of this commentary?


Comments

While I enjoyed the story and certainly understand the point, I take exception to the phrase "The reaction of Sarah’s mom was nothing short of heroic..." I think we are too quick to apply the term heroic to an array of behaviors or even inactions that simply are not heroism. I refer to those innocent victims who die as a result of terrorist acts, and as horrible as those deaths are, in my opinion, these individuals should not be labeled as heroes unless they were emergency responders who entered the situation to specifically assist others or actively did something that put themselves at risk to come to the aid of another. Heroism is an act of character and if we are trying to teach character, I believe we should recognize it appropriately.

I am reminded of a story that I'm sure you would enjoy and draw from. A few years ago, my buddy's daughter was in the school district spelling bee. The daughter I'll call Jessi was in the 6th grade and was doing quite well in the competition. The winner would move on to the state competition. As the end of the competition drew near and only three spellers remained, Jessi was given a word to spell. With some hesitation and uncertainty, Jessi spelled the word, though she struggled the whole way through. When she completed the word, the judge announced that the spelling was correct. Jessi would continue on in the competition and eventually win, qualifying her for the State Spelling Bee. Jessi was elated on winning the competition. Later that evening she reflected on what had happened and with some uncertainty in her mind, she grabbed the family dictionary. Jessi flipped through the pages until she came upon the word she had struggled with and discovered she had in fact spelled the word incorrectly. Knowing she had won the competition and qualified for the State Bee unfairly, Jessi could not relish in the fact that a mistake had been made and that her advancement was not right. She notified her parents, and with some level of disbelief, the parents notified the local Bee officials who were amazed at the ethics displayed by this 6th grader. They made the correction and thanked little Jess for her courage and her honesty. This is not Michael Josephson, but still reminding you that character counts.

Brings to mind the recent clips shown on TV when the father caught the foul ball and then handed it to his little daughter, who promptly turned and threw it back on the field. The dad embraced his little girl with a hug and assured her she had done nothing wrong. While millions were watching this moment captured on TV, that dad instinctly acted to show his daughter love, not the concern over the lost baseball he had coveted. We all know too many men who would have resorted to their first instinct of yelling at the kid or worse.

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