Happiness Is More Than Fun and Pleasure 637.4
Ask young people why they get high on drugs or alcohol or seek sex without intimacy or commitment and they’re likely to tell you it’s fun and they just want to be happy.
It’s tempting to envy the life of fun-loving “party animals,” “playboys,” and “good-time girls” until one thinks about how they feel about themselves and their lives when they’re alone without the hyped-up stimulation they seem to thrive on.
It doesn’t take a psychologist to realize that if happiness is the destination, these folks are on the wrong road. The problem is, the intense sensation of fun or feelings of pleasure experienced by a substance-induced buzz or an exciting sexual encounter are quickly replaced with a consuming sense of emptiness that drives a need to start all over to fill the vessel again.
Each time drinkers, drug users, or sex addicts discover that getting what they wanted isn’t making them happy, they fall into the despondency conveyed in the famous Peggy Lee song: “Is That All There Is?”
People who make pleasure-seeking the focus of their lives are like drug addicts who need continually stronger and more dangerous doses to get high.
Happiness is different than fun and pleasure. It’s a less intense, but more durable, feeling of well-being. It’s not a continuous state. A good life is usually seasoned with moments of joy and despair, play and work, success and failure. Happiness is a kind of emotional resting place of quiet satisfaction with one’s life.
The art of living a happy life is not having more of what you want but getting better at enjoying what you have.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
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Comments
Thought this was very insightul. The question becomes how we teach and influence our children to understand from their POV. Can be difficult, but primarily the best way I have learned is to keep them busy and not let them fall into "hanging out." Also, being together and talking. Although more limited with teens, still good to be together which provides them the option to ask questions or just be with you. It has been said that kids do not listen to what their parents say, but imitate them, which means it is paramount to spend quality time together. Lastly, the final sentence is very uplifting. I find myself thinking about more ways I can enjoy what I already have and make the most out of life.
Posted by: Mark | September 23, 2009 10:41 AM
This was a lovely article that walked around the source of happiness and contentment: spirituality.
Whatever our religious upbringing, the connection with that which is indescribable and nameless opens a door beyond the five senses. It is the guide through the uncharted terrain of life, speaking to us personally and individually. In hearing its voice, a compassion is born beyond the needs for a codified system of ethics. That voice, a clear knowing of what is perfect in the present, never fails. It is the basis for Torah, Christianity, Buddhism, and other systems of wisdom.
Children need to see our connection with something that doesn't offer immediate gratification. Respect grows from that. That is the greatest gift we can pass on to the future inhabitants of our stressed planet.
Posted by: Angelae D. Le'Chastaignier | September 24, 2009 9:29 PM
Take it from a sex addict, what is being said here is so true! Wish I could get past it.
Posted by: Kathy | September 25, 2009 8:17 AM
Ahaaaaaaaaa, I hear and appreciate your radio remarks every morning and they swell my heart, but I never have pen and paper ready to write down the address so that I could tell you so. This morning I did it. Thanks for bringing sanity into this world and for continuing with your messages even though we must have the faith of a mustard seed to know it can make a difference in todays me, me, me world.
Posted by: Joan Principe | September 25, 2009 2:17 PM