I often try to explain to people my point of view on the effects poor parenting has on a child. It is easy to judge another human being based on the conditions in which we were raised. We forget and discount the fact that not all of us were lucky to have been given a set of good parents. Your commentary on the past affecting the future made me think of all those misfortunate individuals I have met who have been damaged tremendously by their parents or whatever individuals it was who raised them. Many people argue that we all have a choice in the decisions we make in our lives, but I think our brains are altered by all the abuse inflicted on us as children. This in effect sometimes creates people who don't have the ability to love themselves, which I think is essential for self-preservation. People tend to participate in self-destructive behavior. I lived with this type of person for 14 years hoping to help her better herself. I came to the conclusion that she truly believed she was not in need of psychological help and it was everybody else who was just trying to put her down. I gave up attempting to help her because the abuse she was inflicting on me was starting to damage me. Now I try to encourage as many people as I can to try to educate themselves on parenting before they decide to have children. And I also try to encourage parents to put the needs of their children ahead of their own. I'm sorry if this comment is not written properly. I am not accustomed to doing this sort of thing. I truly appreciate your commentary. I hope it is reaching as many people as possible.

I truly enjoy this newsletter and appreciate the effort your agency has made to provide access. It has helped me in many ways. I do support ethical conduct. I have recently changed some of my religious views and feel very pressured by past aquaintances not to break with the old ways, but the type of religion I was in was causing me to feel beaten down, unhappy, and confused. I was in it for most of my life. I am now 51 yrs old. I do feel concerned about changing this one thing and the domino effect it may have on my children. I want them to continue to make good choices, which is what I felt being involved in a strict religion would do, but yet I want to see them have more freedom to decide some things for themselves. I spent most of my life doing what other people wanted me to do. Now I want to change that to doing what I want and feel good about. Is this scary? Because of the future possibility of damaging something I have taught my children all their lives?

Those of us who are the beneficiaries of good parenting are truly blessed.
For some reason, though this was never articulated at home, I feel like I was born with the clear understanding that whatever I'm doing in my life I must be able to look myself square in the eye and be OK with it.

None of us lives a perfect life, but truly for 99.9% of everything I've done in my life, I feel that way. How lucky I am to have been born into such benevolent circumstances that I've been able to make those good choices.

My mother looked at me one day and said, "Where did you come from -- you're so different than me." I don't know, but growing up knowing I was loved no matter what I'm sure had something to do with it!!

My parents both had substantial challenges of their own to overcome (a paranoid schizophrenic father and a teen pregnancy), but they got over themselves and were terrific parents.

I wise man whom I was blessed to work for said to me shortly after the birth of my first child that all parents have "stuff" that leaves a residue with their children, but the essential job of parenting is to love them, keep them as safe as you possibly can, and after that it's the job of the child to get over the "stuff." I thought that was profound in my very worried early parenting days.

Thank you for your commentaries. They are super.

There is a tendency for many to get trapped in wishful thinking about the past. Nostalgia, while comforting, is a dead end. No one can go back in time and change the choices they made. As a pastor, I prefer to bring people to look at their present and see where they do change outcomes so they do not repeat mistakes of the past. Instead of responding to one's child with abuse, a parent can begin working on better ways of being a parent and stop what might be generations of poor parenting skills. The change is based on not repeating the past and creating a better set of memories to come. The past provides either the pain or the inspiration to live in the present.

I would make a better attempt to get serious about my life and my goals a few years earlier than I did in this life. I did have one heck of a good time, however!!

"It's a Wonderful Life" was released in 1946, not 1939. You may have it confused with another Jimmy Stewart movie called "It's a Wonderful World," which was released in 1939. Thank you.

What about all of the people who have risen above all their personal problems? I have been reading John Meacham's biography of Andrew Jackson, our 7th President. A quote of his: "I was born for a storm and a calm does not suit me." He certainly was far from perfect; however, many claim he is one of the six top presidents.
All I am saying is you can pick youself up and begin again, no matter where or who you came from. If God is with you, who can be against you?