A sure way to elicit angry mail is to criticize common rationalizations. So I expected to be called a self-righteous purist who is out of touch with reality when I protested against a young man's decision to conceal from a new employer his commitment to start his Air Force tour of duty in three months.

Just because we're convinced that we have a moral right to something doesn't mean that others have a moral obligation to give it to us. The filter of self-interest inevitably distorts our perceptions about our rights and others' obligations. It's even harder to accept that wanting something, even needing it, is not a moral justification for lying, cheating, or stealing to get it. Moreover, most necessity claims are illusions. As Nietzsche said, "Necessity is not a fact; it's an interpretation."

When our children earnestly declare, "I really need it!" or "That's so unfair!" we don't take their claims at face value. We've got to be equally critical of our own rationalizations.

Remember, if it's OK for someone who "needs" a short-term job to lie or conceal important facts to get it, then it's equally OK for an employer to lie about only needing a short-term employee. If it's OK for a tenant who "needs" an apartment to lie about having pets, then we can't complain if the landlord falsely promises to install a new carpet.

Next time you feel justified in lying to get what you think you deserve, ask yourself if you'd feel the same way if you were the one being lied to.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.