I’m Better Than That 616.4
Ron, a 9-year-old boy, was being raised by his mother who didn’t know how to cope with his uncontrollable temper. She knew he was angry that his father had abandoned him and she tried professional counseling, but nothing seemed to work. So she sent Ron to spend the summer on his grandparents’ farm.
When he came home, he was a changed boy. His mom asked him what happened.
Ron told her that every time he got mad or said anything unkind, Grandpa made him go outside and hammer a big two-inch nail into a two-by-four. It was really hard, and he wasn’t allowed back until the nail was all the way in. After about 20 trips to the shed, he decided it was easier to control his temper than hammer in those long nails.
“Did you change because you hated the consequence so much?” she asked.
“Well, that was part of it,” he said. “After I’d nailed in all the nails and was behaving better, Grandma took me outside and made me pull them all out. That was even harder. When I was done, she gave me this note.”
He showed it to her, and this is what she read:
Pulling out nails is like saying you’re sorry – the holes still remain in the board. You can’t fix things by being sorry, but you can stop making new holes. Remember, every time you do something mean and nasty, you’re making a hole somewhere in someone. That’s what your Dad did to you. Please don’t do it to anyone else. You’re better than that.
“You know what, Mom?” Ron said. “Grandma was right. I am better than that.”
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
Comments
A wonderful story, and its message about kindness is true and very important. This is very inspirational.
I do have a little problem with the fact that it's a parable but is told as if it is actual history. It's when we start blurring the distinction between the two that social problems occur and we start turning against each other.
It's a wonderful and heartwarming story, but to me it is told as if it actually occurred, but seems to be a fable. Is it?
Posted by: Steve | April 30, 2009 6:16 PM
Yes, the story is a parable. We should have made that clear. Michael also retold it in another commentary, "Pounding In and Pulling Out Nails" (week 609.4). To view it, go to the Archives at http://charactercounts.org/michael.
Posted by: Josephson Institute editor | April 30, 2009 6:30 PM
This story was great. I'm enlightened through this. Michael Josephson, kindly continue posting blogs such as this. All of your blog was so great and very inspiring. Thank you and God bless!
Posted by: Chery | May 1, 2009 11:10 PM
I love this story. I'm a coach and once told one of my swimmers a similar story about holding a grudge. A girl on the team had stolen her boyfriend (no great loss if you ask me) but it was a heartbreak for her. She was quite angry at this girl for a long time. I told her every time she thought badly of this girl, it was like adding a stone to her heart. Eventually her heart would be very heavy and cold and would be a burden to carry around. She seemed to come to an understanding and approached the girl to say they should set their bad feelings aside and move on... which they did.
Posted by: Anita | May 6, 2009 3:52 PM
This story is found in The Peaceful Solution Character Education Program in the Self-Control Jr. High book by Yisrayl Hawkins. It is slightly altered but the same concept.
Posted by: William | October 24, 2009 4:15 AM