Take Sex Seriously 584.2
What does sex have to do with ethics? Judging by the popular image conveyed on TV from sitcoms and reality shows, not much. We’re led to believe that extramarital sex is primarily a recreational activity, no more personal or significant than going to a baseball game.
But no matter how modern one tries to be, this is absolute nonsense. Whether it’s what we used to call “petting” or “going all the way,” people of conscience cannot ignore the inescapable ethical implications of such conduct – implications that go well beyond social taboos and religious views about chastity and fidelity.
The reality is, few human actions have a greater potential to affect the lives of others than sex. The ethical issues involved in unwanted pregnancy and the possibility of spreading or contracting disease are too large and obvious for anyone to deny. Yet there is an even greater danger that casual sex will cause one or both parties severe emotional distress, especially if it’s accompanied by dishonest, disrespectful, disloyal, exploitive, irresponsible, cruel, or callous behavior.
Despite pseudo-sophisticated denials, only shallow and self-absorbed people can engage in sex without putting their own or others’ feelings at risk. Even with good intentions, reputations can be injured, self-image can be lowered, expectations about healthy stable relations can be altered, and intense feelings of rejection, betrayal, inadequacy, and jealousy can be generated.
Given the range of physical, emotional, social, and spiritual consequences of sex, people of character take it seriously. They think beyond the moment and care about the person they’re with. They’re kind, and above all, responsible.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
Comments
This is a great message. I am a mother of a teenage son and soon-to-be teenage daughter and this hits the mark. I have printed it out (added premarital sex too) and we are going to discuss this topic during dinner tonight. It is about time someone spoke out on this topic....we are bombarded with sex and the wrong messages all the time. This is helpful to put things in perspective. Thank you.
Posted by: Christine Taylor | September 15, 2008 12:29 PM
I am a 40-something single parent involved in a monogamous relationship. I think society looks at extramarital/premarital sex as something only teenagers shouldn't engage in where I feel it affects adults the same as the younger generation. I have made choices as a single parent being in a monogamous relationship that do not coincide with what I have been teaching my children...so my choices have changed. I not only have my integrity back, but I can look at my teenage children in the eye and they will always know I may have made a poor choice but changed and made the right decision. My relationship may have changed, but it became stronger and will continue to until we decide to make a lifetime commitment. We all have choices. I just want my kids to know they have to make decisions in their adult life as well that keep their integrity intact, whichever direction or path that takes them down. Right now I am their role model until they graduate and are gone. I'm not the world's perfect mother, just trying to be the best I can be one day at a time. I guess we are all learning where our integrity lies.
Posted by: Anonymous | September 18, 2008 6:10 PM
I am a middle school health teacher and you would be surprised at the parents who do not want their children to participate in any sex education at school. I guess they want their children to get educated through locker room talk or from their friends. We have sex gender-based classes and I believe that makes the environment perfect to discuss pre-teen and teenage sex issues. We live in an age that takes 0.0 time to get answers to many questions via the media, Internet, etc. The question is, "Are our children getting the correct answers if we as parents are not willing to be open with them about sex?" Michael, keep up your good work and keep us informed!
Posted by: Jerry | September 22, 2008 5:59 AM