The Real Story Behind Love and Romance 553.5
If we can get beyond the corny red-heart clichés and commercialism surrounding Valentine’s Day, there’s real value in celebrating the idea of love.
Okay, love doesn’t always conquer all and it’s rarely forever, but I worry that the hearts and souls of a whole generation are being corrupted by images that mock and trivialize the beauty and sanctity of real love in blatant worship of good looks, shallow sex, and money.
Sitcoms, reality shows, and dating games tell us that romance is all about setting rather than sentiment and that courtship is a cynical game based on lusts rather than longings for deeper connection. They show attractive young people demeaning themselves in a perpetual quest of pretty, empty vessels, and they make celebrities out of manipulative, self-indulgent, and selfish men and women who think fidelity is foolish and commitment is confining. They celebrate relationships where there’s no intimacy, authenticity, sincerity, affection, admiration, or even respect.
Love is not a mirage, and it’s not a game. It requires work and patience, but its rewards far exceed the hollow pleasures of hooking up. The glory of love is not the satisfaction of urges, but the discovery of a soul mate who, in the words of writer Richard Bach, "has locks that fit our keys and keys to fit our locks."
Love, he writes, is a place where we feel safe enough to open the locks and let our truest selves step out. It’s a place where we can be loved for who we are, not for who we’re pretending to be.
That’s the place I live with my valentine, Anne, who lights up my life.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
Comments
I disagree with your commentary. You meant well, but...
True Love is NEVER forever and most do not even get a chance to grow old together. About 50% of marriages end in divorce. Many of the rest live together out of necessity. Only a handful of those stay together out of love. Of those, many lose their partner to some disease. Sometimes unfortunately at an early age.
My parents are one of the lucky couples. They have been together for 56 years. That kind of love requires love, loyalty, commitment, and just plain good luck.
I am one of the unlucky ones. Last year I lost my spouse to NSCLC. February 12 was our anniversary. We would have been married for 18 years.
I want to add one last comment. Lust and good looks are not bad or evil. They are just what initially connects people. Only love can carry us beyond that.
Posted by: Ray | February 14, 2008 2:56 PM
Today's commentary was fitting for a day where love is expected to be reaffirmed. On Valentine's Day in the past, I never asked my husband for anything "cute-sy", commercial; rather, a simple kiss that said we were, and hopefully shall remain, one. He knows what I look like in the morning; I see him when he isn't so grand. But I love what we share. My greatest Valentine wish is that we grow old together, still sharing those special kisses, not just this day, but each day.
Posted by: Angelae D. Le'Chastaignier | February 14, 2008 3:25 PM
A real mensch
Posted by: Eileen Gold | February 14, 2008 4:59 PM
Michael,
I appreciate in particular your moral basis for ethics and have been impressed since I heard you in person over 15 years ago in Orlando, Florida. This commentary emphasis on love is appropriate as it is fundamental to moral living.
I have developed a presentation at a university professors' request titled "The Basis and Value of Biblical Ethics in the Workplace". I use quotes from my notes that I still have from your talk. You are amazingly consistent and provide a great service to our community with your daily talks and other substantial efforts. Thanks for what you do.
Ron Johnson
Posted by: Ron Johnson | February 14, 2008 7:52 PM
I shared Valentine's day with a lady I've been dating for some time now. We both have been through the pain of divorce and it was the first evening in many years either of us really looked forward to this special day. We both want the kind of love you describe and yet are working through our fears. I believe in heroic, noble, and sacrificing relationships like you describe. And I choose to believe this is possible, even for those whose lives have been ravaged by betrayal and pain.
Posted by: Mike Gurley | February 15, 2008 7:59 AM
Dear Mr. Josephson:
I do agree with you...that love can be and is forever. It's just that in certain instances we are unable to know how love really works. Even though we may not know how love really works, we know that love is real and that love is forever. I do believe love is eternal...only that when we leave this world, we carry our portion with us...however, our love does not end. Love is just in another world of glories eternal everlasting existence. And who we leave behind can look forward to meeting us again, but love never stops. Yes, character counts!
Posted by: DIANE WADDY ROMERO | February 15, 2008 9:19 AM
Your thoughts are provoking and always make me ponder in a hectic career.
Thanks for putting my thoughts into "your words"
Mike Davis
Posted by: Mike Davis | February 15, 2008 12:08 PM
As a 17 year old I completely agree with you. Valentine's Day is all commercial. Why cant you buy your significant other roses and tell them you love them any other day of everyday.
Posted by: Luis Ayon | February 19, 2008 10:47 AM
What you have said about commercialism being a big influence on young adults is significantly true. i feel as though you have to measure your love by the amount of money spent. That, in my opinion is not a very prioritized generation. There are bigger things in this world to worry about than having to buy the most expensive thing on the market. It's so shocking to see how people are easily influenced.
.
Posted by: Debbie Miller | February 19, 2008 10:56 AM
Love can exist in many different forms. I believe love will always exist between people when it is true. Some people may not be the typical person you would think you would fall in love with because the media has you looking for the perfect looking person, and you may completely deter from certain people because they don't have the beauty or body. How are you supposed to fall in love when you are looking for a person which probably does not exist. I do believe there should be an attraction, but not all attractions must be physical, you may also be attracted to personality.
Posted by: Sam Crunt | February 19, 2008 11:17 AM
I very much appreciate your commentary on love and will share it (as I so often do) with my teenaged daughters. I DO believe in true love, love that lasts a lifetime, love that's yours for who you truly are. Those who disagree just haven't found it yet...
Thank you always for your wonderful words and wisdom.
Posted by: Sue | February 20, 2008 5:05 PM
Almost everyone's comment I read applies to love. That is why love is difficult to explain. I am a firm believer there is another element beyond the physical & emotional attraction.A sixth sense: an unseen mind wave communication that exists between humans that makes one like another instantaneously without saying a word. When the connection is made, love becomes very strong and the wireless connection makes the partners to be in constant touch (synchronized) regardless of life's distractions. Intimacy & affection occur and happy physical attaction endures. The mind wave connection starts to break down when one or two partners start to control what they communicate. The wave stops emitting and the connection is only verbal. Love is great when true, mutual, open and inconditional. Thank you for your many contributions.
Posted by: M. Moe | February 22, 2008 2:03 AM