I had to take exception to this one. The problem doesn't lie with the child, it lies with the parents.

When I first became a parent, I realized that my job was not to control my children, but rather, to teach them to control themselves; my job was not to protect my children but to teach them to protect themselves (this meant protecting them, when they were young, from the big bumps and allowing them to learn from the little bumps so that they could learn how to protect themselves from the big bumps later on); it meant allowing them to make the small decisions and live with the consequences of those choices, so that they would learn how to make big decisions and understand the responsibility of living with those choices.

Growing up is a process, that begins when we are born. If Moma and Popa keep their kids children until they are 18, they should not expect them to perform like a light switch - flick the switch and suddenly the light comes on; reach 18 (or 21) and suddenly you're an adult. It takes time to learn to be an adult, and it takes mistakes and lessons. As parents we deprive our children that learning experience when we make all the choices for them - you learn to make good choices by experiencing the consequenses of making bad choices. Our children grow up to leave the nest if we let them learn that they can succeed on their own, without Moma or Popa doing everything for them.

Leaving your parents house may be acceptable in the west, but where I live, one simply cannot think of leaving one's parents house especially if one is a girl unless one is married. In the society where I live, children especially girls tend to take advice on everyday matters. There are of course exceptions to the rule. For those unlucky few, life is hell, not bliss.

I would ask Mr. Josephson to consider the so-called Muslim society in mind too.

I couldn't agree more Michael. I have 3 kids and your commentary validates what I have been telling them for years.
Thank you.

Society coddles our children rather than allows them to be strong. My personal example as the oldest of three kids is this: I was the strong, responsible, successful child yet was rewarded with nothing but expectations. The middle child was the ignored one and put herself through school. The baby was the least self-reliant yet was "rewarded" with a car, money, place to live for years after he finished school, etc. Never have I believed in "rewarding" irresponsibility or lack of initiative. The blame lies with my parents.

Although I also believe that the brightest opportunities open up while living a dynamic life, one must consider that this upcoming generation has been charged with living lives of purpose and passion, to change the world, and to "become whatever they want to become." These visions may seem romantic when compared to today's reality, but such a lifestyle will never be realized by any generation if we continue to impose limitations. To encourage one to work and support themselves in the meantine is one thing, but to break someone of dreaming about an idealistic future, that's detrimental to not only to the one you are imposing values on, but also to our society and the American dream as well.

Sounds so familiar. My son didn't want work or go to school, just stay out until 3:00am and get up at 2:00pm. It was too easy for him to think the dream job and life would fall in his lap. After many heated emotional discussions, I finally kicked him out of the house. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. For weeks I struggled with this asking myself if I'd done the right thing. But after a year, my son stopped by one day to say that kicking him out was the best thing I ever did for him. He's now got a good job, going to school, paying his rent and way. He's matured dramatically. He loves being independant. All it took was a little push to get things moving.

I am incredulous over the vast number of "kids" who graduate from college and don't know what they want to do in life.

Could it be that the goal of high school - in fact all school - is to go to the next school? This is evident in the idea that grad school is next - rather than preparing one to meet his own needs and possibly benefit his society and aging, sacrificial parents as well.

Young adults should get out on their own. Why complete college or go on to grad school if you haven't decided what you want to do. It is time to take responsibility for yourself and support yourself.

It gets even more serious later in life. My husband was talking to me the other night about not knowing his purpose or what he wants to do in life. He has been unemployed for 3 of the 5 years we have been married and he is 45 years old.
He stated almost everything that Chris said word for word. I have printed out this article and I hope it can make a differenc in his life. My outlook, you can enjoy anything you decide to enjoy. Thank you for your great commentaries.

There are both blessings and blights for societies that are affluent. Moreover, in more parts of the world today we live in abundance with drought and famine being the stuff of legends and where modern conveniences are common.

Though our current abundance and access to modern convenience may assist some people in achieving more, for others these conveniences are the road to decadence or even indecisiveness.

In simpler times if you did not work you did not eat. One had to take action to survive.

So, I do not put all the blame on parenting and upbringing but instead I believe there are a number of factors that contribute to young adult’s delay or inability to get started or “failing to launch.”

Very practical approach. I really like it. Nobody can learn swimming unless he goes in water. Sometimes parents have to take strong and harsh decisions to help chilren grow

Every situation is different for all of us. Several years ago our son graduated from college with an Engineering Degree. While he thought a great job would be forthcoming immediately after graduating, sadly it was not to be. After two frustrating months of sending out resumes with no response, he realized he needed a job.
With our encouragement, he took a job as a clerk/stocker in a local retail store and continued to live at home. He put most of those earnings into paying down his substantial college loans. Less than a year later he landed an excellent position with a aerospace firm.
Sometimes, you have to persevere and be patient simultaneously (both parents and offspring).