When George Washington was 16, he discovered a little booklet containing 110 maxims describing in detail how a well-mannered person should behave.

He was so convinced that these sayings would help him become a better person that he set out to incorporate them into his daily living. Among Mr. Washington’s many virtues, his commitment to civility marked him as a gentleman and helped him become a universally respected and enormously effective leader.

By today’s standards, Washington’s notions of behavior may seem quaint and old-fashioned, but the essential message of manners and etiquette is to soften relationships with respect and to treat others graciously as if they’re important.

Instead of updating our concept of manners to accord with modern lifestyles, we seem to be abandoning the notion of civility entirely. We’re exposed to heavy doses of tactless, nasty, and cruel remarks on daytime talk shows, dating games, courtroom simulations, and reality programs.

As a result, we’re molding a generation who is becoming comfortable being brutish and malicious, and our society is getting increasingly coarse and unpleasant.

In a tense world full of conflicts, frustrations, and competition, being well-mannered is an important social lubricant that helps us live together constructively. If we care about the world we’re making for our children, we need to be less tolerant of mean-spirited, discourteous, and impolite remarks and to do a better job of teaching and modeling civility.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.