Recently, I attended a fundraising dinner for the Erika Whitmore Godwin Foundation, the creation of Susan and Wendell Whitmore, a couple who transformed their personal mountain of sorrow into a living monument to their daughter Erika who died in the prime of her life.

About half the people at the dinner had lost a child. Regardless of the age or the cause of death, these bereft parents all shared a common sentence – to live the rest of their lives with a hole in their heart.

No one could have blamed them if they had retreated to a dark dungeon of despondency, but the remarkable people in that room refused to surrender. They made a painful peace with their reality so they could move on, so they could laugh, so they could enjoy the company of others and savor good memories without being consumed by regret.

Their strategy is not to bury their pain so deep that they forget their loss. They want to remember. They want to celebrate and honor their child -- not by weeping, but by improving the world in their youngster’s name.

The Whitmore’s foundation and their website (www.GriefHaven.org) guide parents recently maimed by the death of a child out of the black swamp of despair and help those still suffering from unhealed wounds find a road to a brighter future.

People like the Whitmores confirm that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. They also teach us that a rewarding and meaningful life can be made from the rubble of personal calamity.

All of us have within us the power to endure tragedy. But we also must know that we give both life and death profound meaning and significance when we draw life-affirming and heart-healing energy from even the most horrible events.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.